Life — November 6, 1884 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: ign of Comus has fairly spread among the theatres. Nita’s First" at Wallack’s; “French Flats" at the Union Square ; “A Wooden Spoon” at Daly's; and “ The Private Secretary” at the Madison Square—the risibles are the aim and object of the Muses just now. . . * I F “The Private Secretary” is a play, Mr. Barnum’s show is an opera. It tissue of absurdities and grotesque humor, clowned from first to last. There is not one sane moment in its action., and legitimate comedy is jostled aside for horse-play and ground and lofty tumbling. Nevertheless, it affords an excellent chance for Messrs. Lemoyne, Whiffen, ‘Thornton and Kelcey, Misses Brandon and Hodgkinson and others to display their mirth-provoking talents, and certainly the three acts run merrily from the rising of the first curtain to the last going down of the samé. * . . Bt it is not a ministerial play—this same “ Private Sec- Secretary “—or rather, it is too ludicrously ministerial to be classed as a “ Madison Square play,” according to the accepted definition which three years of “ Hazel Kirke,” “Esmeralda,” “ Duty” and “Alpine Roses” have forced upon the pious clientele of the pretty little theatre around the corner. The roll of the organ has given way to the exaggerated whine of a much abused curate, and the plentiful prayers with which previous productions were unc- tuously larded, have been applauded by a fusillade of melli- fluous damns which come trippingly on the tongue. . . . ‘EMPORA mutantur et nos mutamur in itlis. All this What can it mean? The canonized name of Mullory still floats on the ensign, but, alas for the cause, ithas aCo” tagged on. The “Co” is perhaps the little joker at the bottom of this pack of trouble. Is it so? is bewildering. Lo, there has been a shuffle and a cut, and the devil's card | has turned up smiling. But who cares? There is some consolation in it. And fun. And dollars. Aha! Plenty of the latter. Shall we now have “Camille,” “ Frou-Frou " and “ Saints and Sinners?” . . . UGUSTIN DALY is shortly to produce a new play by Pinero. HE smooth acting of “ Nita's First’ has perhaps lent more to its success at Wallack’s than any merit it may claim. It is light, airy, and funny—but it lacks stay- ing properties. About Nov. roth, a new play by Robert Buchanan will be produced at this theatre, to be followed by Henry Guy Carleton’s drama “ Gustave Dupré.” | Literature i THE SAD EXPERIENCE OF DR. JACKSON. E was a wreck as he leaned upon the round table. There was pathos, however, in his voice, and consider- able whiskey, while he recounted his sufferings. “ Yes, sir ! played out! Not but what there is money in it for a first-class professional, but when it comes to losing tive teeth, an car, half a scalp and two fingers for a paltry ten dol- lars, it's time to hustle around for a new field. “You see I was a reporter on the Dazly Moon and hada fair salary. But getting tired in the evenings, I'd write up my assignments in the congenial atmosphere of a beer saloon instead of taking in the racket personally. It ran along for some time until a half-column meeting I had prided myself on turned out not to have happened at all, and for the simple reason that the building burned down two hours previously. “The Moon and I parted next day. After a week or two, | started in a new line. I inserted in a dozen religious sheets the following advertisement: AA GRADUATE of Harvard and Andover, unfortunately afilicted with infirmity of speech, prepares addresses, prayers and sermons for members of the sacred profession. Satisfaction guaranteed. All communications confidential. Terms very reasonable. “Ina short time I ‘d built up a rattling good trade. Why, one camp meeting week I captured a hundred ; and a Brook- lyn revival another week brought in a hundred and a quarter. I was thinking of hiring a partner to do the prayer business while I attended exclusively to sermons and addresses. Because you see prayers are the hardest part of the biz; they ‘ve got to seem spontaneous like, and have a little touch of poetry | and sentiment, and the sentences must swing easy; whereas you can knock out a sermon in an hour from the dailies Mon- day morning. “Things were booming along this way when one day at noon I got two notes. Here they are now; this one formerly pulled in the Yale University : Boston, Sept. 23. Rev. Epen C, Jackson, Dear Brother :—Please send me to-day, a neat, quiet sermon (about thirty five minutes), on the perils of city life. While not lurid, I should like a series of striking pictures with a poetic peroration, I enclose the regular fee ($5). I want it for Sunday morning. “ This other one started lifeas a carpenter, made money, got religion, and became a minister. 1 know it, because he wrote me all about it for a sketch of himself I got up for him in the Chicago Booze. Cuicaco, Sept. 22. My DEAR JAcKsoN, Let me have right off, a half-hour sermon on life in your metropolis. Make it moderately sensational, but not too much so, I'm going to give it Sunday evening. $5 enclosed. Cordially, “ As | was saying, it was noon, and I had to catch the mail, and then I had a corner-stone, two prayers and a wedding on hand besides. So I just dashed off a rattler, put in instruc- tions where to gesture, look up, circumflex and talk impressive, comicbooks.com