Life — October 16, 1884 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

220 (THE courTsHIP. 7 VE ye plaze thissus,” remarked Madame Bridget Maloney to her mistress a few days ago, “oi kem for ter say that oi must be afther lavin’ yez.” “ Leaving us, Bridget? Why, how is this ? satisfied with your place?” “Satuswhoid, is it silf as ‘ud niver be ter be married one wake ago the coming Choosda: “Married? Why, you never told me of it before “Nome. But it’s all the same. lave ter go ter the funeril av Biddy Finnigan lasht Froiday, pace to her sowl, Wil, oi wint an’ the kyaridges waz that full that it bekem necessary that some wan should roide wid the beraved Finnigan, an’ oi bein’ an ould frind of the corpse, waz diligated for that plisant dooty. Wil, we barded the Firry boat an the way to the sumitury an’ as we kem abresth av the Goovernoor's Oisland, Finnigan lanes oovher ter me, “ Aren't you an’ wid a shmirk as wud ‘ave shtole the heart fram an angel | lit alone mesilf, he said: ‘Missus Maloney, yez are the charrum ay the funeril,” an’ so, mum, we fixed the toime far Choosday.” AVERAGE weight of a stupid bore—Generally a simpleton. A PROPOSAL, F in some happy moment I Should drop some sentimental word, You need not think I 'm playing sly To fish, or say your heart's unstirred: We ‘re friends, you know, and as for me, I'm sure I would n't purposely Excite your girlish fears. Perhaps you know last night you left Me all alone with scarce a sigh ; Perhaps you think I ‘Il let the theft Go—half-forgotten—quickly by ; Perhaps you say that I'll forget The kiss upon my lips you set, And trifle with your tears. Perhaps (you smile) so slight a loss Is naught to me,—ah well, perhaps! Perhaps, like pennies urchins toss And catch their fortunes in their caps, You thought to pitch my heart in game And watch the fate that with it came,— Perhaps it rolled away. Well, come to tell the truth,—I flirt : And you,—without a care or thought,— You never felt a pain or hurt : Your meditations come to naught : You're silly, like all other girls That think to tangle in their curls The hearts with which they play. ! Arrah bliss ye, me lady, but its me- | er lavin’ yer but for the fact that oi ’m | Ye knaw yez gave me | - LIFE: Just now I'm playing sweet with one,— Well, I don't mind if I tell you,— She's frolicsome and full of fun, And revels in a bright frou-frou : Her hair, like yours, is brown and rich, The prettier,—I can ‘t say which ; And then, such tender eyes ! 1 love her just about as much As I know how,—perhaps ‘t were best To say my love for her is such As better not all be confessed : I'm thinking—well, beneath the rose,— What she will say if I propose, And trying to surmise. Of course I know that you don’t care. Don't look so very prim and pout! And when I tell you “who” and “ where,” Do n't run to let the secret out : Her eyes might glisten with a tear If she by any chance should hear That I had told you so, Hello! and, tell me, what means this,— This quiver in your pale-grown lips ? I'm shocked to find you dare to kiss The hero of so many slips: And have I asked her ?—she, coquette ? I'm going to this minute, pet, For now she can't say “ No.” LATEST conundrum on the Rialto—Who was it Sheridan Shook. ‘THE works of sand (with illustrations) may be had at any Long Branch bathing house. A PLEA FOR THE “TRIBUNE.” UR eccentric contemporary, the 7rsdune, gets a rap over the knuckles every few days from the Post, which makes the welkin ring. The 7rzbune has at best a nasty row to hoe in this campaign, and it is really a little unsympathetic of the Post to speak of its erring brother in such terms as these: “It follows in this campaign a course of steady, dull lying, unbroken by apology, retraction, or confession ; and rational controversy with such an opponent is as difficult as a discus- sion on ethics with a bunco ‘steerer.’ ” A CONFIDENCE man—the father confessor. A TWO-SCENT PINK—The Evening Telegram. “VINDEX—When men quarrel about a woman do they do wrong to fight ?"" No, they du-el, of course. comicbooks.com