Life — September 11, 1884 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

150 A FRAGMENT. CENE I.—Tailor shop. ‘Two gentlemen looking at pat- terns, Mr. Brooks: Well, Mr. Grandige, we will each of us order a suit. But we have made a little bet, and the loser will pay for both suits, when the: bet is decided. Do you agree ? Grandige (rubbing his hands): Certainly, sir: as you please, sir. CENE Il.—(Lapse of ten years, during which Grand- ige has sent bills and awatted payment for the long wornout suits. Scene—Same shop and dramatis persona. Grandige: 1 beg your pardon, Mr. Brooks, but that litle matter of the suits of clothes which you and Mr. Mufflin ordered ten years ago has not been settled yet. Mr. Brooks: Of course not; the bet has not yet been decided. Grandige: But would you mind telling me, sir, what was the bet? Mr. B; Certainly not; I wonder that you have not asked before. You see, Mr. Mufflin wagered that when Bunker Hill Monument was blown over it would fall to the north, and I bet that it would. fall to the south! END OF THE ARGUM —"* Bet ye ‘taint so.” Elevator boy calling the floors: “ SEVENTH.” Suspiciously jolly old party returning from the club: | ) CONDUCTOR | WHAT! ONLY SEVENTH STREET! Gab! I'm FOR THE FoRtY (HIC) SECOND STREET DE YOU'LL HAVE YO (HIC) HURRY UP THE DRIVER OR I (HIC) MISH LAS’ TRAIN SURE, * LIFE: SEPTEMBER SAUNTERINGS. QUEBEC. ARRIVED in Quebec last evening after being detained in quarantine for four hours. I was examined by the doctors for traces of the Cashier Microbe which has become so valuable in the United States that that country has established stations all along the border to prevent its exodence. It was there that my chronic condition of suspended payment served me in good stead, for had the slightest traces of a gold vein been found upon my person, I should now be languishing in the narrow confines of a Maine jail instead of being the envy of all the New York detectives in town. I found upon my ar- rival that the only thing to make my social success complete was an ex-connection with some rich American banking in- stitution, and I registered myself at the St. Louis Hotel as “Cholmondeley Harcourt, ex-President of the Catterwaul Street Savings Institution, New York.” The mere fact that I had no baggage convinced those about me that I must be an ex-somebody and my accidental arrest by the Great Lord High Constable simply enthused the town over my arrival. I find a great many well known New Yorkers here, among others being Mr. Keno, Hon. A. S. Warner of Albion, Mr. Dickinson and several others. Col. Hodge whose transac- tions with the Off-uns Bank resulted so profitably is unavoid- ably called back to New York to-morrow morning owing toa slight infringement upon the Extradition Laws. It seems that the Colonel inadvertently brought a dime in U. S. cur- rency into Canada, and not being able to satisfactorily prove his title to it has fallen into the toils. He will be tendered a farewell Bank-wet this evening by Mr. Keno, at his handsome new residence at Tayke-Watchu- can, Montmorenci. Quebec society is rapidly becoming Americanized by this extraordinary influx of New Yorkers and others. The Na- tional Game of Base-ball has been introduced with great effect. Some parts of the game have been changed to suit the climate but the salient features remain the same. There are no home runs in the new game. The pitcher's place is taken by the Paying teller and the Catcher has been changed to Cashier. They all manage to get their innings, however, as in the old game and it is a really charming sight to see the former lines of caste between Presidents and those in subordinate positions sunk by that “ fellow stealing which makes the whole world a skin.” The whole country is excited over a painful accident to young Egbert Von Brain who has been living on the in- come of his two-million dollars realized on bogus govern- ment contracts last Fall. Strenuous efforts were made by a grateful country to have him return to his native land and offers were made to safely guard his person for several de- cades if he would only come back to the United States, but the charms of Canadian society were too much for him and he made up his mind to remain. Von Brain played in a game of base-ball last week with a visiting team from upper New York, the grounds being on the border. With singular carelessness while making a comicbooks.com