Life — August 14, 1884 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

94 THE DUSKY MOOR OF MAINE. «¢@OFT you: a word or two before you go. I have done your road some service, and you know it. No more of that I pray you in your letters When you shall these unlucky deeds relate. Speak of me as I am; nothing extenuate, Nor set down aught in malice: then must you speak Of one that loved bonds wisely but too well; Of one not cheaply purchased, but being bought, Perplexed in the extreme ; of one whose hand Like the base Judean, threw his chance aw y For cash upon the spot; of one whose ‘party, Albeit unused to the bolting mood, Drop votes as slow as do the Vassar girls Their medicinal gum, Set you down this And say besides that in the Senate once — but perhaps it is just as well that I do not allude again to that trying time. OTHELLO BLAINE.” WE ought to beware of Alaska diamonds and poker- players, for they both scin-til-late. VERY COMBUSTIBLE. Mother ; Do you know what combustible means, Tommy ? Tommy: Why, yes, of course; something that busts easily. “ Omnibus hoc vitium est—the omnibus is vitious,” was the translation made by the Boston gentleman who denounced the study of the dead languages. “Probably written by a Roman who d had his new hat smashed in one. I wonder what he ‘d have said of a bob-tail car!” FIRST AID TO THE INJURED. LEssON X.—Cholera. I. N dealing with cholera you must put sentiment in the background and ruthlessly kill every microcosm as soon as it appears. 2. Do not give the patient large doses of medicine—throw physic to the physicians and Germs to the Germans. 3. Never sit in the same hammock, play tennis or dance the c: in with a person who has the cholera, as it increases the chances of contagion. 4. Let him eat no food that has not been thoroughly cooked. Boil everything—except the ice, because boiled ice (though not positively unwholesome) is never firm and crisp. 5. His clothing must be kept scrupulously neat. Make him put on a fresh pair of cuffs and a clean cholera day. 6. A favorite Asiatic remedy is one fire-cracker an hour, chewed slowly, and absolute freedom from all excitement. In practice, however, this is sometimes found to be a difficult combination to preserve. 7. If the patient is expected to die, send his name and $5.00 to this office. That will insure him for him one year more of LIFE, at any rate. CIGARS VS. CLOTHING. FE. NGAGED—Rosenheimer—Sulzbacher—Suddenly, on Sun- day eve., at the residence of her father, Rebecca Rosen- heimer to Levi Sulzbacher. No cards, The above appeared in Monday's paper. On the evening of the same day, Mr. Levi Sulzbacher, attired faultlessly, with a clean shave and a “fresh oil,” stepped from the back parlor of Mr. Rosenheimer's house, No. 11 E. 5th St., upon the back piazza, and found himself in the august presence of Mr. Her- man Rosenheimer, who was “airing his shirt-front " (being both hatless, coatless and shoeless), after the day's struggle with customers and the heat. Mr. Herr Herman Rosen- heimer had only just seen the above notice in the evening paper, and was not in a very cheery mood. An angry frown met the polite young aspirant’s “ Goot efening, Meester Rosenheimer,” as he took a chair near him. They were alone, Miss Becky and her ma being “ otherwise engaged.” “Vell,” began the old Hebrew, “so mine dau'ter is en- gaghed alretty, and I haf not known dat. Younk man, ven mine vife haf reed dis to me from dis paper, I haf like to fall dem kitchen stairs behindt me.” “ So vas I ashtonished ven I gafe that notis to some clerks at the noospaper offise. I toldt dem be sure dat notis goes not in to-day ‘ Vait,’ I sed, ‘till Tuesday.’ I coudtent beleef mine eyes ven I am ingaghed before I have seen Becky's faser. “So. Vell, mine fren’, Becky's faser says you is not in- gaghed—and vill nefer give his consent ” (and the old Israelite brought his flat stockinged foot down with a “thump” on the piazza floor. “ But, Mr. Rosenheimer,” pleaded the lover, “I kain’t tell you how I luff dat girl. Das en dear Becky; alvays ven I git up in mine room, ven I am in mine pizniss, I am alvays luffing mine Becky. Pleese, Mr. Rosenheimer, kain’t you say yes. “Mine childt shall marry pretty soon a v-e-r-y r-i-c-h man,” said the old fox. “How rich, Mr. Rosenheimer ? I haf a goot pizniss.” “But dat man vot I know of haf anyvay ten tousand dollars in cash money.” “Mine cigar pizniss pays me more as de interest on dat ten tousand dollars.” “Vat is your pizniss vurt ?” “ Anyvay is vurt more as two thousand dollars efery year.” “You kain prufe dat ?” “Sure! mine books and mine customers vill tell any vone so.” “From dat leetel cigar store on Sixth Avenoo ?” “ Dat same shtore.” “T vould nefer haf beleefed dat. Perhaps ven you can prufe dat you haf more money as meine other yunk main, I vill ask mine vife. Anyvay, I gif her to das best main. I know she is en goot girl.” “ Den you dink I get her, Mr. Rosenheimer ?” “Mine fren’, | haf known your faser. 1 beleefe vat you say, and I vill say yes, my yunk Levi.”