Life, 1884-06-05 · page 12 of 16
Life — June 5, 1884 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Political Satire on the 1884 Presidential Election This article by Carlyle Smith mocks Republican candidates for the presidency, centering on Senator George Edmunds of Vermont. The text satirizes the difficulty party insiders face selecting their nominee—they cannot agree on a suitable candidate. The joke hinges on Edmunds' cold, aloof personality. Smith describes how Edmunds' carpet is worn from constantly escorting visitors out the back door, and notes that flowers droop as he passes and Smith himself nearly freezes in his presence. This physical coldness becomes a metaphor for his political "coldness"—his poor viability as a candidate despite being "a good man." The accompanying illustrations from *Fliegende Blätter* (a German satirical magazine) appear to show whimsical garden scenes unrelated to the American political content, suggesting they were reprinted stock material. The satire suggests Republicans lack an inspiring nominee and Edmunds, though respectable, would be an ineffective campaigner.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
320 > LIFE: when you look out. If I was a Democrat—but then I’m too AN EPISODE. holy for that, so we won't take any such hypothesis, I, of course, have my opinions on the subject of politics, but really as From Fliegende Blitter. I-ahem-expect so little from it that I haven't paid much atten- tion to the subject. From what my friend Blaine writes me I hardly think there ismuch doubt that if the Republicans nomi- nate the right man they will run the Bank for the next four years. -Arthur seems to think about the same, and Logan, as far as I can, understand his exceedingly broken English, gives me to understand that his wife is hopeful.” “Whom do you consider the right man?” ‘Now, sir, you come to the part that stumps Mrs. Logan, Blaine and myself in the worst way. We've met half a dozen times and have never been able to agree. To be sure Mrs, Logan being of the fair sex, Jim and I only get in an occa- sional word and that endwise. Mrs. Logan’s candidate, whom she calls Jack, has all the qualifications. He’s a dark horse in every sense of the word; has a bar'l; his personal appear- ance Would poll a large cow-boy vote; he’s got about as much idea of the English language as the average voter in the country, and will only be too glad of the chance to board and aly lodge at the White House and cut $50,000 worth of coupons every E ; way a 5 “ig pu year. Be “In addition, this gentleman, according to Mrs. L., has a wife who has much personal magnetism, and who, if Mrs. L. is to be believed, can talk like chain lightning, putting more grammar in a single word than her husband could get in the Congressional Record in four weeks. ‘*Jim and I invariably looked in at a little place around the corner and had ‘ lookin’ at each other’ after these conferences. “« Jim says he has a man in his mind who will make the coun- try hum. “‘Now I feel just the same way about it, but I swore I would n’t tell who it was until Jim gave his man away. “H-m. Young man you don’t happen to have any-er-a-well, excuse me for a moment, please.” Mr. Edmunds here went out again by the same’ back door, and I then noticed that the carpet was very badly worn away in a straight line from the Senator’s desk to the door, and when I mentioned the fact to him he replied that all his visitors called at the rear door and that he spent most of his day going out to seeaman, The Senator shows the effects of this constant hard labor which devolves upon him, and for this reason alone has de- clined all offers of advancement from the Prohibitionists who wish to use his pame—probably for an example. As it grew late I withdrew about this time. He accompanied me to the gate and as we passed some flower beds I noticed the flowers perceptibly droop, and when I finally left the Vermont Senator I noticed for the first time that I was nearly frozen. Mr. Edmunds is not of a comfortable temperament. He registers about zero—a few degrees above the level of his presidential chances as measured upon the thermometer of pop- ular favor—excepting college-men, of course. I forgot to mention the fact that I asked Mr. Edmunds: “Would you accept the presidency yourself ?” “Well, you may say if you wish that I would n't get up at six in the morning to get it, but if it was brought me on a plate with all charges prepaid, I might accept.” Mr. Edmunds may be a good man, but he'd be a poor candi- date in a hot fight. CARLYLE SMITH. comicbooks.com