Life — April 17, 1884 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

VOL. IIL. APRIL 177TH, 1884. 1155 Broapway, New York. Published every Thursday, $5 a year in advance, postage free. Single copies, ro cents. Back numbers can be had by applying to this office. Vol. I., 20 cents per copy; Vol. II., at regular rates. THE editor begs to announce that he cannot undertake to re- turn rejected contributions. HERE seems to have been something envious about the burning of the St. George Flats. They were strictly fire- proof, being built after the approved principles upon which ninety-five per cent. of the other fireproof apartment houses in this city are constructed. In these the walls are at least four inches thick and made of celluloid rendered incombustible by being dipped in kerosene ; the partitions are of the most inde- structible varity of tinder and matchwood, sheathed in punk and lined with shavings, asphalt, guncotton, nitro glycerine and turpentine ; the chimneys are made of the most obstinate variety of pitch-pine well saturated with saltpetre, and to make the thing still better protected, a safety fuse radiates from the office to each room, so that in case of fire no one apartment can get in its fine work ahead of another. Then, as a final precaution, a ton or so of gunpowder is stowed in the cellar and a supply of blue lights in the garret, ready to assist. The comfort of the occupants is assured by the knowledge that they have not to think at all, in case of an alarm, about fire-escapes, for there is no fire-escape to think of. The simplest mode of exit is by way of the windows, and a row of iron halberds and pikes, well barbed, is provided below, so that the sufferers who jump will not be able to get away until the arrival of the ambulance. Considering all these precautions are taken, it is somewhat surprising to hear that the St. George Flats not only burned up effectively and burned down with promptness, but that its meagre populace barely escaped with its lives in broad daylight. The populace, by the way, lost everything but its several salvations ; but with those intact, it is to be supposed it is ready to remove into another fire-proof flat. * * * 6¢ 1 READ the other day that Mt. Dshebel Naibo, in Algeria, was slowly sinking into the earth. Without being at all an Algerian I may state that I have private reason for thinking the phenomenon not only not unique, but not confined to moun- tains.”—Roscoe, * * * O Mr. ConkLINc is going for Mr. BLAINE. BLAINE used to go for Mr. CONKLING. Why not?) Mr. HE Washington Evening Star of recent date contains the following : “‘A Star reporter was informed this afternoon, by authority entitled to credit, that a dispatch had been received from Mr. OtiveR Payne denying the statement imputed to him that his father would not accept the Democratic Presidential nomination asa ‘pure fabrication.’ It is understood that the dispatch was sent to representative Page of Ohio.” This news being almost too gond to be strictly true, we emitted inquiries and gathered in the following: * CotumBus, OHIO, April 4, 1884. To the Editor of Live : It is true. But who is Payne? 7, Collect. PAIGE. OsHKkosu, April 4, 1884. To the Editor of LiFe: I did send the dispatch, and I will not refuse it if it is offered to me. By the way, can you give me any idea of my chances? I have never been struck by lightning in my life, but am willing. The postmaster here can answer all necessary inquiries as to my fitness and ability. PAYNE. 56, Collect. Boston, April 5, 1884. To the Editor of Lire : Never heard of the man and don’t want to. 9, Paid. BUTLER. GreysToneE, April 5, 1884. To the Editor of LIFE: So far as I know, there is nothing against him. If you find out who he is, let me know. By the way do you mind saying that yesterday I threw four back somersaults and a hand spring, sawed a cord of wood, and walked nine miles? Let it not be forgotten, too, that I have a bar’l. S.J. T. 47, Paid. WASHINGTON, April 6, 1884. To the Editor of Lire: Really, my own little boom is taking all my spare time, and you must excuse my ignorance, CALA. 17, Paid. * * * ee HE question of the hour now is the Government pro- posal to regulate the storage of whiskey in various States.” —Liguor Dealer. We had supposed that there was no need of Government doing anything of the kind so long as Kentucky continued to be so populous, and Col. Ochiltree was still alive. comicbooks.com