Life — April 17, 1884 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: assumed Mr. Sitn’s ulster, thoughtfully inserted Mr. SMmITH’s watch-chain in his vest-pocket, collared the bank and counted it, and then, with a cheerful smile | at Mr. WiLttams, left the room. The silence for sev- eral minutes was sepulchral. Then Mr. Jackson said : “T'se 'fraid——” “Yo’’se’fraid ob what ?” asked the Rev. Mr. SmiTH, savagely. “Dad Toor’s played yo’.” “Wha—whad ?” gasped Mr. SMITH. “Dad was a sawbuck,” said Mr. Jackson. “Whad’s a sawbuck ?” “Why, dad pious niggah’s Toot’s cust fuzzin— | Toot’s dad’s nevvy,” said Mr. JACKSON. A light broke upon the Rev. Mr. Smitx. “ Dey was risin’ an’ risin’—ter—ter knock de tar outen me?” he inquired, in a voice which froze Mr. WHIFFLEs’ marrow. “Yezzah,” said Mr. Jackson, keeping the table well between them. Mr. Smiru turned over Mr. Wititams’ hand. It contained two jacks. He examined the Deacon’s. It held just three ‘hearts, a spade andaclub. He then re-examined his own flush. It was still perfect. “Niggahs,” he said, with the calmness of despair, “go out sof’ly, and lemme alone. I want er rassle wif de dickshunary an’ de angel ob wrath er while, an’ den git de mos’ feasible words an’ club I kin fine, ter spress my feelin’s ter Brer Toor and Brer ANGuisH. Tread sof'ly, niggahs—tread out sof'ly.” They trod. RENDER: VNTO SCISSORS THOSE THINGS WHICH ARE SCISSORS - HERE is a specimen of the beautiful poetry to be found in Western newspapers, which so often ridicule Eastern culture : “ Tell me, mother, tell your daughter, Tell me truly, do not scoff. Tell me if you think Ioughter Take these derned old flannels off.” —Commercial Advertiser. I'se looked eroun’ ober dis lan’ a heep, an’ ef I’se eber found any use fur de grasshopper I doan know it; but den I doan know dat de grasshopper hab eber foun’ any use fur me.—Arkansaw Traveller. Doctor : ‘‘ Have you got the better of the ague yet ?” “No, sor. Me and me wife is as bad as ivir, sor.” Docto id you get that whiskey and quinine I prescribed ?” Patient : “Yis, sor ; but it did no good at all, at all.” Doctoi That is strange! You took it according tothe directions, I suppose Patient : “*Yis, sor ; ye know a man and his wife are one.” Doctor : ‘* What has that to do with it ?” Patient : “* Well, ye see, sor, bein’ as we are one flesh, I tuk the whiskey and gave Biddy the quinine.” —Philadelphia Call. THe Boston Post says that “it is now fashionable to snore.” This ought to boom the Baltimore newspapers.— Philadelphia Call, PatTTI cake, Patti cake, Mapleson man; Pat it and pat it ‘As fast as you can, Make all the money the fools will pay. Never restrain them, but give them their way— And after the opera rage is o'er The red flag will flutter o'er many a door. —San Francisco Argus. Henry Hott & Co. JUST PUBLISH Stratford.by-the-Sea. A Novel. 16mo. (GREAT REDUCTION.) JAMES McCREERY & CO., Cavanagh, Sanford & Co., Merchant Tailors and Importers, 16 West 23d STREET, (No. 4, American Novel Series) $1.00. PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED No. 1. A Latter Day Saint Being the Story of the Conversion of Ethel Jones, related by herself. 16mo, $1.00. No. 2. The Pagans. By ARLO BATES. 16mo, $1.00. CALLED BACK. By HucH Conway. 16mo, Leisure Iour Series, $1.00; Leisure Moment Series, 25 cts. Broadway and 11th St., Have placed on their Retail Counter TWO HUNDRED dozen of Ladies’ Fancy Lisle Thread Hose at 75c. per pair; former price, $1.50. In this department is dis- played complete lines of the newest novelties in Hosiery for Misses and Ladies. JAMES McCREERY & CO., Broadway and 11th St. Opposite sth Ave. Hotel NEW YORK. All the latest London Fabrics regularly imported. C= MARVEL EXCELLENCE a AND WORKMANSHIP. Contain Less ‘Paper and Fiver Topacco than any Cigarette made. Popular as the great “ AFTER-DINNER” CIGARETTE, Straight Mesh, Cloth of Gold. 13 First Prize Medals. By Wm. S, Kimball & Co, oss’sS THE OYAL 3 BELFAST IRELAND MANUFACTORY ‘AN Aempeoig z& ‘ssou ‘H AUNTH comicbooks.com