Life — April 10, 1884 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

* LIFE - THE RINKER’S PSALM OF LIFE; OR, WRINKLES FOR RINKERS. IFE tell not that thou affordest Nothing but a tiresome dream, That our dolls are stuffed with sawdust And things are not what they seem, Lent is slow, but this thou learnest, Tho’ the rink should be thy goal— Dust thou art—to dust returnest, Should’st thou strive on wheels to roll ! Let us have no cause for sorrow, Never fall or break our shins ; Let us strive that each to-morrow Finds us steadier on our pins. Rinks are smooth, and skates deceive us, If we ’ve never rinked before; Strongest legs may slip and leave us Sprawling on the dusty floor. As our shaky feet we rattle With all eyes upon us fixed, Do n't we feel like driven cattle? Do n't our feet get somewhat mixed ? Try no flyers—'t is not pleasant On the floor your length to spread; Only keep your pins at present, Ankles stiff, and steady head. Jolly rinkers all remind us Never was such sport before— We departing leave behind us Deep dents on the cold, hard floor. Deep dents—that perhaps another Striving ease and grace to gain— Some forlorn, half-shipwrecked brother Meeting may fall down again. Let us then be up and doing— Take the outer edge with care, Warily our course pursuing, Learn to fall, and not to swear ! H. W. Suorrsoy. HOUSEHOLD HINTS. The column will be devoted entirely to the interests of ECONOMICAL HOUSEKEEPING. Reliable information for the guidance of young mothers and housekeepers will be supplied by a lady of experience and ability. HE most efficacious and inexpensive method in which to rid a house of rats is to rent it for a few months to a Chinese boarding-house keeper. There is no prettier way to serve an_ unsightly piece of corned-beef than to cover it with chicken croquettes or boned turkey, and flank the platter with a bottle of champagne on each side. Do not tell a green cook that you always like “ drop- ped eggs” for breakfast, without explaining your re- mark. — Unless you give more explicit directions, the dish may not prove to be what you expected. If your carpets wear out, don’t try to have the breadths reversed or pieces put in, but take them up entirely, and have parquet flooring laid down or a new axminster. It will look much better than a patched ingrain. Never be inflicted with cold, white walls in the parlor or nursery. It should be the effort of the housewife to give color and brightness to every room. Thirteen cents’ worth of colored chalk, in the hands of the children, will transform the bleakest panel into a maze of bewildering designs, in one morning. A lady informs us that a novel way to make tomato soup is to pour the milk of three cocoa-nuts on a tea- cupful of nice white codfish ; add to this three pints of water, a tablespoonful of butter, and a can of baking-powder ; then boil for half an hour. Always see that the drinking-water which is set before your husband is absolutely pure. It should never contain a straw or chip. Many men, however, are fond of their lemonade with a stick in it. Do n’t take old black-walnut picture frames, etc., to the shop to be renovated, as you can easily varnish them yourself. Use a varnish made of gum shellac, dissolved in alcohol, tinted with burnt umber. You will probably upset some of this on the carpet or the baby will drink it (cost for repairs $10.00), but you should practise economy in small matters as well as in large ones. The old button-basket should not be put in the fire when Christmas brings a new one. Fifteen cents worth of gold paint (which can be purchased at any toy- store), two yards of red velvet and,a twenty-dollar ostrich feather will change it into an Easter bonnet, and your husband is sure to be delighted at your thriftiness and pleased with the becoming and elegant effect produced. Never throw away the boys’ old trousers when they have outgrown them. There are many methods of utilizing them effectively. One sensible and decorative idea (borrowed from “The House Beautiful”) is to sew up the legs at the ankles, add heavy curtain tassels and nail the trousers by the waist-band to the wall, in the front entry. They thus make charmingly con- comicbooks.com