Life, 1884-03-27 · page 7 of 16
Life — March 27, 1884 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis: "A Warning to Maidens" This satirical page mocks women who marry men passionate about intellectual pursuits—theology, music, literature, or art. Four cartoon scenarios illustrate the consequences: 1. **"An Amanuensis"**: A woman serves as her husband's secretary/assistant 2. **"An Organ Blower"**: She's relegated to manually operating his organ 3. **"A Night Editor"**: She works as his editorial assistant 4. **"An Artist's Model"**: She poses for his artwork The accompanying text and jokes reinforce that such marriages doom women to servitude, losing their independence and identity. The satirical "agent" definitions equate wives with shoe-makers and ministers—items owned rather than partners. The commentary critiques both idealistic male intellectuals who exploit wives' unpaid labor and women who marry for romantic love to such men, discovering too late they've become household servants rather than equals.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
- LIFE: 175 A WARNING TO MAIDENS, PARTICULARLY TO THOSE WHO MARRY FROM A LOVE FOR THEOLOGY, Music, LITERATURE OR ART, AS THE CHANCES ARE THAT THEY WILL BECOME AN AMANUENSIS, A NIGHT EDITOR, Soe agent—the shoe-maker. Soul agent—the minister. Sol agent—General Hazen. “We sat by the river, you and I,” and both went home and had chills. A PAWNBROKER is deserving of sympathy. He is a lone creature. Succerstions to the North River Tunnel Company. Engage President Arthur or any other celebrity, for a week, and a score of reporters. Place them at either end, and your boring will be accomplished. OR AN ARTIST'S MODEL. Tue Old Bey State—Turkey. A CATCH question—Will he muff it? A NEGRO can keep a secret—that is, he always keeps dark. Ir you wish to avoid a blow, do n’t go out in the wind.— Sullivan. A MAN good at putting too and too together.—Oscar Wilde. Wuar a police magistrate said to a pair of would-be duellists. “I'll let you off this time, but by Jove! if you’re brought before me again, I'll bind you both over to fight.” She firmly assumes a stony silence, and the radiator, after a few concluding ejaculations and metallic objurgations, also re- lapses into comparative stillness, Mr. Elkton’s breathing begins to give strong indications that slumber has re-descended upon his weary frame. Mrs, E, (starting up with the inspiration of an entirely new and startling idea): George ! George ! George ! Mr. E. (with less good humor than might be desired) : “Eh?” Mrs. E.: “Wasn't it wonderful for baby to sleep through it all?” Mr. E. (Drowsily) : “Yes; droll little beggar. His mother was n’t in the nursery to wake him, though.” Mrs. E.: ‘‘ You don’t suppose there is anything the matter with him? George; George, I say; you don’t suppose the reason he sleeps so soundly is because he’s sick ?” To this conundrum Mr. Ellston offers no solution, and equally passes in silence queries in regard to the probability of the nurse’s being awake, alive, well-disposed and able to take care of baby in case of emergency. Mrs. Ellston sighs with the desperation of long-suffering anguish, and once more stillness reigns in the chamber. The lady again arouses herself, however, from an apparently sound nap, to ask in penetrating tones : “George, do you think it will begin all over again ?” To which her brutal worser half grumbles out the reply : “No; and that ’s where it is more endurable than a woraan !” At which the radiator gives a chuckle so apt as to suggest the possession of a sinister consciousness on the part of that noisy instrument of torture. Mrs, Ellston groans with the discouraged conviction that she is but one against two, and upon this theory at length consents to resume her interrupted slumbers. ARLO BATEs. seca comicbooks.com —