Life, 1884-03-20 · page 2 of 16
Life — March 20, 1884 — page 2: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Life Magazine, March 20, 1884 - Analysis The masthead illustration shows "LIFE" with a winged figure and a banner, typical of the magazine's satirical branding from this era. The page content consists primarily of **editorial notes and brief commentary** rather than political cartoons. Topics include: - A book by Mr. Hayes on the "compaige of 1876" (likely referencing the contested 1876 presidential election) - A mention of "Minnie Ballard" and the *Graphic* publication - A lengthy anecdote about **Rev. Jeremiah S. Collins**, a minister who traveled to Texas. The narrative describes his attempts at evangelical work in a rough frontier setting, with humorous dialogue about frontier slang and his difficulty understanding local customs This appears to be **satirical social commentary** rather than political satire—mocking frontier culture and religious earnestness clashing with rough frontier morality.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
MARCH 201TH, 1884. NO. 64. VOL. IIL. 1155 Broapway, New York. Published every Thursday, $5 a year in advance, postage free. Single copies, 10 cents. Back numbers can be had by applying to this office. Vol. I., 20 cents per copy; Vol. II., at regular rates. Tue editor begs to announce that he cannot undertake to re- turn rejected contributions. R. HAYES is writing a book on the compaign of 1876, and devout Ohio persons are praying for cholera, * * * RECENTLY stood a visit and Chicago man, This does n’t it?—S. F re an interview from a shows I am not very far gone, * * 6¢ GIXTEEN years with Madame Parti,” is the title of a book soon to be published by ‘‘ Patti's husband.” Another author veiling himself in impenetrable darkness for the sake of exciting public attention. * * * 66 \ LKALAY vs. Alkalay,” is the title of a very exciting divorce case now pending. Considering the progress chemistry has made, it seems strange to find so much caustic in trouble when just a little acid would neutralize it. * * * 667 TE will not come, though I should cry to him,” said Miss MINNIE BALLARD, in the columns of our esteemed con- | temporary the Graphic. Of course he won’t, MINNIE. Why should he? Still, perhaps you have already tried singing to him. | * * * HE following extract, from an interview with a Princeton student in the columns of our esteemed contemporary | the Sun, reflects great credit upon that same body : “Charley,” said an athletic young man on rowing weights, ‘your letter busts us. It’s bad ’cause some of the boys will think you were cajoled by Billy Sloane. It knocks the middle leg out of our table, and puts ridicule uponus. Most of the things we're kickin’ against are alive, but when we look for real evidence the faculty get us on the hip.” * * * HE Rev. Mr. JEREMIAH S. CoLLINs, was for a long time a permanant resident of Sandusky, Ohio. One year ago he became possessed of the idea that he had a call to Texas, where he could cheerfully combine soul-saving with the culture of cattle on that blooming section of the boundless West known as the Pecos. The Rev. Mr. CoL.ins started for Texas with a trunk full of bibles, a heart full of hope and a bootleg full of pistols, whose maker believed in a light and frolicsome snapper. | sultation, with closed doors, in the saloon, After seven | days’ journey by rail and four by stage he arrived at Blizzard, a small settlement situated where the Pecos ran swiftest, the cattle were wildest, the whiskey cheapest and most effective, and the moral character of the cowboy most thoroughly Texan. On the night of Mr, CoLttns’ arrival, the hotel was enlivened by a game of draw-poker wherein one gentleman held four aces, the other a revolver, and the coroner an inquest. An hour later, after re- freshing itself with an abundant flow of that frontier beverage in whose distillment the tarantula is supposed to play a prominent part, the multitude swarmed out to amuse itself with a moonlight lynching. The following day was Sunday, and Mr. CoL.ins undertook to get in some fine evangelical work. The dining room of the hotel was put at his disposal, and a large and en- thusiastic but somewhat restless congregation assembled. Mr, CoLtis intoned a hymn. The congregation listened. He gave out atext. The coroner nudged the marshal, and the coroner winked at the mayor. Mr. CoL.ins faltered. There wasa double barreled shot-gun at the end of the room, and the Rev. gentleman fancied he could hear the buckshot whispering together and discussing the relative tenderness of his vital organs. He bethought him of the Deca- logue. The first two commandments were listened to in silence. Then uprose Judge BERRY, who had one eye anda private grave- yard, ‘‘ Mis—ter CoL.ins,” said he, slowly and impressively, “no personal reflections, if you please.” Again Mr. CoLLins faltered. He gave out another hymn and sang it himself. The coroner approached on tiptoe and whispered in his ear. ‘But I’m a Minister of the Gospel,” said Mr. CoLLINs. “Where ’s the lay-out?” asked the coroner again. ‘*T do not comprehend you,” said Mr. Coins. “Faro—rooge et nore—bunco—chuck-a-luck—what is it?” asked the coroner. “* My friend, I—we—there is some mistake,” said Mr. COLLINS. “P’raps it’s policy,” said the coroner. “What policy? ’ asked Mr. CoL.ins. The coroner looked puzzled. ‘‘ What is it, then?” he asked. “ What d’ ye do, anyway ?” “I pray—preach—teach the Gospel,” meekly replied Mr. CoLLIns. “How much are the chips?” queried the coroner, feeling in his hip pocket. “T fail to see what you mean?” said Mr. CoL.ins, in desper- ation. The coroner shook his head and walked slowly down the aisle. One by one the boys filed out after him. There was a long con- Then a boy brought Mr. Couns the following note :— “ Deer Sin—The Kummittee uv publik morils hez dropped on your little game. Tharisa sped trail over the hill and a good larryut in the hands uv the Kummittee. Awl flesh are grass,”” Mr. Cotttns has returned to Sandusky. comicbooks.com