Life — March 13, 1884 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

144 Elliott F. Shepard ; upon whose style it is ¢vidently modeled. And unless Mr. Shepard immediately takes out a patent for his | invention, it will be imitated far and wide. Hitherto, the sole connection between advertisements and universities has been manifested by the zeal with which some of our college presidents have sought to attract the attention of the public to the merits of their respective institutions of learning. This was most con- spicuous on the occasion when President Eliot is said to have been seen perched near the summit of a steep White Mountain precipice, painting in large white letters upon the virgin rock: “Send your Sons to Harvard.” That, however, occurred several years ago. The times have changed, and our colleges with them. It is rumored that, already, the Havard faculty are discussing the feasibility of forcing upon the other universities an additional athletic rule, providing that, henceforth, each race-boat shall carry at its prow a banner with a legend, advising the spectators to use a particular kind of soap. The advance agents of New York managers hope, soon, to close a contract with President Porter authorizing them to transform some of the windows of the Battell Chapel into stained glass bill-boards ; through which the glowing sun will display to the rapt worshippers the forms, more attractive than those of hermaphroditic angels, of Miss Sadie Martinot and Mrs. Lillie Langtry ; and in place of scenes from the parables, tableaux from plays first produced at Niblo’s Garden and the Bijou Theatre. President Varter is expected soon to largely increase the revenues of Williams College by varying the monotony of his examination papers with advertise- ments of the works of Zola. And ere long the slogan of Prince- ton will be changed from Pst—Boom—Ah, to S.—T.—1860—X. Of one thing, however, we may be sure, that Professor Dwight will resign his position before he will consent to insert in his lec- tures upon law puffs of the annotated edition of the Civil Code, which will be published immediately after the Governor has signed the bill this Winter. HER GLOVE. I HAVE found such a dear little glove, So daintily scented and free, That I 've sent it away to my love. Will a mitten come back to me? For a message I’ve placed within— Its meaning she surely must see ; Will she find the words sweet that I wrote, Or send back a mitten to me? : To-night I will follow the glove, To know what my fate may be ; Shall I kiss the hand that it fits, Or bring back a mitten with me ? B. W. G. SoLiLoguy of a thief, professionally occupied.—“My pals have called me a bird. So I am, I’m a robin.” Impecunious debtor.—‘“I’ve been haunted by ghosts all day.—As Robinson enters with his little bill —And here comes another spectre.” Robinson.—“ There’s where you're mistaken, my boy, I’m an expecter.”” A snow bawl—“ Excelsior.” OW true it is that misfortunes never come singly, for not only are my half-sister’s children momentarily expected for a visit of goodness only knows how long, but in addition, to-day is my birthday, and I cannot but realize that the time is fast approaching when I shall be spoken of as “a lady of an uncertain age.” I have been busy this morning looking through the garret for some Bibles to lay about on tables and bureaus, as I think they would tend to impress our visitors with a sense of our respectability, although they have lived all their lives in Paris, and for aught I know may be Mohammedans or Buddhists. We, that is, papa and I, are Unitarians, but so many people in our very first society are now Episcopalians that I have somehow drifted into the habit of going to Phillips Brooks’s. Papa does not go to church at all ; he says he is too old and too tired. We live of course in the back-bay district ; it is “made land,” to be sure, and the houses settle and drains break, and we have considerable malaria and typhoid fever about us, but then when one considers the respectability of the situation, these drawbacks dwindle into nothingness. Our means are quite limited—I fully realize this, as I am papa’s housekeeper, but fortunately Boston is the one place where money is subservient to mind and culture, and where there is a certain style and dignity in being poor. I have never married—we seldom do marry in Bos- ton, as it is such a commonplace thing to do, and in- terferes seriously with our German studies, which we place before everything; for, to be able to translate Heine is to have an assured position in Boston society. My niece and nephew have arrived ; they are older than I expected, both look to be fully twenty. I must confess they are quite handsome, although very, very un-Boston like. They have light hair, and Jack seems rather English, although, like his sister Helen, he is much too demonstrative; in fact, Helen on arriving was comicbooks.com