Life — February 7, 1884 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a x: 6 VOL. III. FEBRUARY 77H, 1884. 1155 Broapway, NEw York. Published every Thursday, $5 a year in advance, postage free. Single copies, 10 cents. Back numbers can be had by applying to this office. Vol. I., 20 cents per copy; Vol. II., at regular rates. THE editor begs to announce that he cannot undertake to re- turn rejected contributions, OW, forever, farewell the tranquil glue. Farewell repairs, farewell the blind Trustees Who made archeology easy. O, farewell! Farewell the patched-up warrior and gummed priest, The wood-tailed pigeon and the Hercules Of heterogeneous, unrelated parts ; The six-toed Venus, and all quality, Pride, pomp and circumstance of this museum ! And O, ye mortal lawyers, whose rude throats Have proved these bogus and all counterfeit, Farewell! ta, ta! See you much later! CESNOLA’s occupation ’s gone? * * * “ Me. Griffin. and Mary is having a real jolly time over here with the JuKEs, and we will play it for all we is worth.”— | * * * HE Chinese and their co-workers in blind faith, the Roman Catholics, had a tilt last week. The Chinese exploded crackers while a priest was saying mass. Priest objected. Pre- ferred noise of his own tom-toms and Latin. Police arrested | Chinamen. Chinamen plead that it was their New Year. Judge | discharged them and they discharged more crackers. Priest | baffled. All forms of idolatry have equal rights here. | * * * | [tT very unfortunate that the members of Mr. ARTHUR'S | Female Cabinet are so inharmoniously excited that dinners and other important affairs of Government are being neglected. | The most important diplomatic matter now before the nation | is undoubtedly the relative position of each member of the | Female Cabinet in the Blue Room. By special act of Congress, | April 27th, 1868, the territory of axminister gillyflowers, bounded | by the reps sofa on the north, the etagere with china dogs on the east, and Mrs, FRELINGHUYSEN on the south, was ceded to | the wife of the Speaker. But as this grant conflicts openly with | the provisions of the Constitution, pp. 219, par xi, which declares | that the neutral ground lying between the satin ottoman and the door mat shall be inalienably under the immediate control of Mrs. | | most of the Persian rug and not a little of the mohair sofa. | is not improbable that Mr. ARTHUR will be compelled to submit McE1roy, the Supreme Court has considered the act null’ and void. Now, however, that Mrs. CARLISLE, Speaker of the House, lays claim, by virtue of her position and new bonnet, to the ter- ritory bounded on the north by the rocking-chair, on the east by Mrs. LincoLn, Secretary of War, and on the south by the lemon- ade table, it can be seen that the question is one which may involve our treaty with Great Britain, and perhaps seriously affect our diplomatic relations with Hoboken and Oconomowoc. To com- plicate matters still further, Mrs. MILLER, Senior Chief Justice, has issued a writ of mandamus on Marshal McMICHAEL, to show cause why he should not vacate the government reservation lying between the sandwiches on the west, and the cuspidor with its several tributaries on the south and east. Mrs, FRELINGHUYSEN, Secretary of State, is naturally opposed to this, but cannot legally cross the MCELRoy boundary without special powers of Congress, while on the other hand, Mrs. Mc- Exroy, Senior Chief Justice, has issued injunctions covering It the intricate questions involved to the arbitrations of the Congress | of Foreign Powers. * * | CUR esteemed contemporory, the New York Zimes, referring to a recent entertainment in this city, says: ‘All the people of rank in the city were present.” This is glorious news, | especially as our esteemed contemporary subjoins a list of the rank persons who, to use the words of the happy but bewildered reporter, “ graced the occasion.” There have been a great many rank dinners given in the metropolis, one way or another, but the fact has never been so cheerfully stated before. * * * MADAME GERSTER has refused to sing any longer with Col. MAPLEsON. The confirmation of this terrible news must appal the stoutest heart. What, with Mr. ARNOLD’s lec- tures, the Chicago criticisms on Mr. IRVING and the prospect of another operatic war, it really seems as though the country was doomed. * * * “Be Stock Exchange wishes to move to Union Square ; but Rurus Hatcu is opposed to it. The Exchange seems to have insurmountable obstacles thrown in the way of its project. * * * “TRE remark of Captain WRIGHT, extensively quoted, that “God only knows the cause of the accident to the City of Columbus,” is very soothing to the friends and relatives of the hundred dead. Still, it is believed that a little human knowledge on the night of the disaster might have robbed both sea and ice of their victims, Sympathy with such brutal carelessness is clearly out of place,