Life — February 7, 1884 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Cavanagh, Sanford & Co.. Merchant Tailors and Importers, 16 West 23d STREET, Opposite 5th Ave. Hotel, All the latest London Fabrics regularly imported. BILLIARDS. The Collender Billiard and Pool Tables have received the first premiums, the latest Triumphs being the Grand Medal—the highest premium over all na- tions—awarded to the Collender Billiard Tables, and Com- bination Cushions, Balis, Cues, &c., at the Paris Exhibi tion of 1878. At the Centennial Commission, Philadelphia, in 1876, the combination cushions were reported the only. ientifically correct in the angles of incidence and re- flection. New and second-hand billiard tables, in all de- signs, at the lowest prices. The H. W. COLLENDER COMPANY, 768 Broadway, New York, St. Loi ; 24x Tremont St., Boston. 15 South Fifth'St. F Louis. 113 S, oth St., Philadelphia. Sand 86State St.,Chicago 367W.Baltimore St. Baltimore. GONSUMPTIO N L have a positive remedy for the above disease; by ite uso t Pfeanes of tho worst kind oad of ony Standing have een cured. Indeed, sostrong is infts em ‘that E will send TWO BO’ together witha VAL? UABLE TREATISE on this disease, to any sufferer. Give Ex- press & PO, address, Dit. T, A. 8I 161 Pearl Bt., N. X. | the sand like Saratoga dudes. | fair herons would smile on a dude heron, and away | on one corner will’ be sufficient. _ FINE morning, your Honor,” affably remarked the man who was arrested the night before for being drunk and disorderly, “Yes, indeed,” heartily responded the Justice ; ‘quite ‘a fine morning; in fact, a ten-doilar fine morning.” - After this little pleasantry, the gentleman was | booked for the ‘Black Maria,” and the business of the court went on as usual.—Detrott Free Press. HERON COURTSHIP. Aw observant young man while in Florida was | struck with the human-like courtship of the heron. The females stand in a row and look unconcerned, while the males strut and dance and prance around on Finally, one of the the pair would fly. All those left invariably began to cackle and chatter as soon as a match was announced, and sometimes a rival would pounce upon the lucky swain to wring his neck.—Zroy Times. Tue absence of the telephone was appreciated by some people in Boston. One man said : “About once in two or three rings I get something | like this :” “ Hello, George, dear !” “ Well, hello !” “Baby just said ‘goo, goo,’ four times, and I know he wants you to come home to supper.” “Baby? Who in thunder do you think I am ?” “ Are n't you No. 11,701 2” “Certainly not !! Good day !” “ Now you see that is an interruption to business.” —Boston Globe. WESTERN ETIQUETTE. When asked to take something, never refuse. — | If you shoot a man by mistake for some one else, it is positively required that you call on the fai mediately after the funeral and apologize.—It is not polite to crack jokes at the expense of a man who carries a self-cocking pistol— Never carry a hand- kerchief in your hip pocket. Reaching for it may lead to misunderstandings.—At lynching bees the master of ceremonies has the exclusive right to desig- nate those who are to help pull on the rope.—— When suddenly stopped by road agents, and asked to | hold up your hands, it is considered the height of impoliteness to refuse. —Strict etiquette now re- | quires that at five o'clock teas all weapons shall be | concealed under the coat or in the boots, the latter course being preferred, as bootlegs are handier to get at.—When invited to a party which you do not wish to attend, a card of regrets with C. A. O. C. A. O. stands for ‘‘ cartridges all out.”——If you wish a man’s mission to pay your addresses to his daughter, it is allowable to invite him to see you throw a bottle into the air and shoot a hole through the bottom without breaking the bottle before making your er- rand known.—When at church it is always—but it is not worth while to waste space giving this rule | until the churches are built.—//iladelphia Call. “MACKINNON,” ; The only strictly first-class Stylus Pen made. he only one having an {rip1um PoInt (without which the cheaper pens Wear | Contains eithera FOUNTAGRAPH Has a world-wide reputation, out in in a few weeks? use). Prices, $4.00 and upward. | or MACKINNO’ ‘ the other. “UNION ” | Nat one end of a handsome holder and a Lead Pencil at | Prices, $1.50, UrwArd. “FOUNTOGRAPH” | An ordinary Gold Pen in very simple Fountain Holder. | ALWAYS WRITES, NEVER CLOGS. Ink lasts Ten Days, Pen Ten Years. Prices, $3.00 to $10.00. The A. S. French Co., M’f'rs, New York and London. ining e for- New York OFFICE, 199 BROADWAY, GROUND FLOOR (WESTERN UNION TEL. BUILDING). Call and try or send for List. Sent by mail on receipt of price. t a f th j 1D, THRE CHILDS incorable when our gorsions Hee ror ey autimraniais, cles Treatment For Wp " for ciculare, testimonial s 1 aT "LUNGS! Can be taken athome. “No case HINDSIGHT AND FORESIGHT. “UT had only known!” e Said’Bachelor Bobbs, with sorrowful groan. As he writhed with the pain of his fractured bone, And turned in his bed with many a moan— “ What a fool I was! I must sadly own . ; “I must stay in this boarding-house all alone. . “Though the landlady’s heart is as hard as stone, “Fifty dollars a week would be “ Solid comfort for suffering me.”” “IFT had only thought!" Said Negative Nibbs To be sure I ought! “An Accident Policy I would have — ught, “ But a lasting lesson I have been taught ;— “This time I certainly have been caught “ As [lie in bed “ With a broken head, “And hear it said “Twas nearly dead, “ Oh! how I wish that I could see ‘: Fifty dollars a week for me!” “ ¥ had only gone !” ‘id Troubled "Tiggs, with a sigh forlorn, “ For that Accident Policy yester-morn “Which I thought, as sure as 1 was mn, “ T would get ;' butnow I’m laughed to scorn “ By the fellows who say, “\ Aha! Oko! “Did n't you know “ Enough to go? “ Could n't you see “ The worth of an Accident “Policy?” “Oh! for something to guarantee “ Fifty dollars a week for me!” “IFT had only got t sh Said Griggs in his grie(—- But alas! I did not— “An AccIDENT Policy ;—sad is my lot ! “No comfort for me: I wonder what “Tcan do when I’m well to make it hot “« For the rascally driver “Who ran over me “And laid me up “ With this twisted knee! ‘ Of luck ic would be a pleasant streak “If Lnow had fifty dollars a week.” : “ Hurrak! [was wise in time! Says Julian Jack, with a joy sublime. “ Though I’m hurt, I can’t help thinking it’s prime “ To recover thus, with an easy time. “ [tried the Unitep States AcciDEnT plan, ** A capital scheme for a thrifty man ; “For now that I’m laid up here in pain “T have all the comforts a man can ask, “And getting well is a pleasant task. ‘And very happy am 1 to speak “OF my regular fifty dollars a week, ‘And I say to you That the best you can do “ Is to go to-day “To 320 Broadway “‘Andthe premium pay “ For an Accident Policy—rich delight | “For the thrifty men with a clear foresight. comicbooks.com