Life — November 15, 1883 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NO. 46. NOVEMBER 15tTu, 1883 VOL. IL. 1155 BROADWAY, NEw York. Published every Thursday, $5 a year in advance, postage free, Single copies, 10 cents. WE are glad to see that the ruthless and ignorant firemen who, seeing a whirlwind of smoke arising from the dome of the Post Office, and hearing a hundred persons yell “* Fire,” were dull enough to suppose there was really a conflagration within, are being held to account for their invasion of the build- ing without proper power. Hereafter, let it be understood, on a fire breaking out in the Post Office, the Postmaster will request the Assistant Postmaster to direct the Money Order Clerk to ask the Foreign Delivery Sorter to tell the Keeper of Padlocks to notify the Custodian to make out passes at his leisure for such firemen as are personally known to him as fit characters to be allowed to enter the dome. These passes, after being approved, will be forwarded to the 3rd Auditor at Washington, who will return them in time to be distributed among the firemen, * * * “cc KNOW itis so, but I cannot understand it. It is like a hideous dream."—Butler, * * * R, ABBEY has reduced the price of seats at the Opera, ‘This generosity to the poorer class of millionaires will be appreciated, ‘ ‘ ‘ THE regular monthly meeting of the Thompson Street Poker Club occurred last Saturday evening, and as Mr. RUBE Jackson had succeeded in steering the Reverend Dr. Jerr CoopruLLer against the game, the members were in high spirits. Under Section 5, Rule IV., visitors and guests are allowed to settle with the bank at the end of the game, and in accordance with this hospitable privilege, the Reverend gentleman had drawn so heavily as to make Mr, Gus JoHNsON’s eyes stand out like a crab's with excitement. Mr. Tooter WILLIAMs was in luck. It had been already se- cretly remarked by older members of the Club that whenever the Club played with an old pack, Mr. WILLIAMS’ luck was invariably steadier and more brilliant, but on this occasion it rose to such majestic proportions that every one but the Club's guest fled pre- cipitately on his slightest symptom of showing fight, and the bat- tle was mainly between these two. ‘The Rev. THANKFUL SMITH was banking, as usual. He hon- ored his reverend friend's call for chips with cheerfulness and alacrity for four straight hours. Then Mr, WILLIAMs pleaded an engagement, passed in his toppling pile, and received $14, even, which was the biggest winning on the Club's record. He then left. The Rev. Dr. CoorpruLter made another liberal draft on the bank, and began losing to Mr. Gus Jounson. The Rev. Mr. SMITH was beginning to have his suspicions. At last he said: “« Sposen we jess cash in, an’ squar’ wid de bank.” Mr. Gus JouNson handed in his winnings, and received $3.41. Mr, Ruse JACKSON owed the bank 92 cents, and paid it with a trade dollar, All eyes were now fixed upon the guest of the evening. * Yo" owes de bank, brudder, "bout $19.79,” said Mr. SmitH, with an effort to be calm, “ Dat 's all right,” said Mr. Cooprutter, putting on his gloves. “\Wha—whad's all right 2” inquired Mr. SarTH, who was be- ginning to realize the worst. “Dat $19.79," answered Mr, Cooprutter, drawing on his coat. “* Whar’ ’s de cash ?” inquired Mr. SmitH, “Yo! gin it ter Toot, didn’ yo’?” asked Mr. CooppuLier. “ He winned it!” asseverated Mr. Smit, **Dat's not my fault,” said Mr. Coopputter. “*T break yo’ all up, ef yo’ doan squar dat ‘count,” said Mr. SmitH, shucking off his coat and assuming a terrible position. Mr. CooppuLter smiled. ‘* I was jess—jess foolin’, brudder. Yar's a check fo’ twenty-fo' dollahs. Gin me de change.” ““Mr, SMITH counted out four dollars and twenty-one cents, and shook hands with Mr. CoopPpuLLer, who beamed with a be- nevolence only exceeded by the caution with which he smuggled awink to Mr. Ruse Jackson, Then he and that gentleman left together, There was silence. Mr. Gus JOHNSON was ex- amining the cheque, He handed it back to Mr. SMITH with a smile, **Dat's all right ?’ asked Mr. SMITH. ** All right ; ‘ceptin’-—" ***Ceptin’ whad ?” “Dat bank busted more’n a y'ar ago.” . . * 6s E will bet $5 that there is not in the New York Zimes office a handsomer man than WILLIAM S. HOLMAN,” — N.Y. Sun, October 13th. “ Betting is a foolish practice."—W. Y. Sun, Nov. oth. * *. . T is thoughtfully suggested by an unknown but far-sceing statesman, that unless some means be devised to bring about peace between Mr, ABBEY and COLONEL MaPLEson, Cincinnati may cither have no opera at all, or may be compelled to listen to both operas simultaneously in the same building. In our earnest endeavor to secure the personal and spiritual comfort of the residents of Central Africa, it seems we have cruelly over- looked this horrible domestic danger. A competent corps of mis- sionaries should be dispatched at once to wrestle with the promo- tors of this dreadful strife; for, should Cincinnati have nu opera, war civil and international would be inevitable and imminent. . ° * “cs I SEE that a great fuss was made over Sir Moses MONTE- Fiore’s birthday, recently, although he is only ninety- nine. My next birthday occurs January 17th."— Susan B, Anthony. comicbooks.com