Life — November 8, 1883 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

230 THE WAR OF MEDICAL ETHICS. HE regular meeting of the Thompson Street Medical Association was held last Saturday night, at the armory of the Skidmore Guards, the president, Dr. Craesus Tewxssury, in the chair. ‘The Skidmore band, under the leadership of Misce- Signor Penniante Mortem, favored the company with a blancmange of airs from J! /adorand?, concluding with a revised edition of Mozart’s Blue Mass, after which the chaplain of the organization, Rev. Pharoah Banks, returned thanks. Drs. Dinah Mite, Sally Silleck, Chloe Rodyne and Sarah Bellum, delegates from the Cirrohosis Club, and Surgeon-General Paralysis, of the Salvation Army, were invited to seats on the platform. The president then formally presented a memorial tablet of the late Dr. Uric Stone. The style of the tablet was pure old code, and bore the inscription, “ Alas, poor Uric ; Reguiescat cum calee,” The choir then introduced Dr. O’Danre G. Rossati, the champion six-day poet, who delivered himself as follows : Lo ! the young doctor whose untutored mind Sees wealth in bills which he sends humbly signed. His name, proud ethics never taught to stray Within the journals in a milk-food way, Yet nature to his lump of life has given, Beyond the code-topped hills some hope of leav'n. Some purer world, where worth, not wire-pulling, rules, Far from the idle wrangling of the schools, Where those whose health, not purse, we claim to save, Won't find that all “ paths" lead but to the grave, Where tongues are scanned without a grave "* Ha! Hum !" Where fees are gained without a fi-fo-fum ! Where pious papers spurn the paltry wealth ‘That makes the Gospel only ** yours for health.”— The gentleman was here interrupted by Dr. Tati- pes Bayrum, who said he would not only move to amend the second line to read, “Sees wealth unbounded in three of a kind,” but would also move to lay the rest of the poem on the table. Dr. Peter Pepsin offered the further amendment that the poet be laid under the table. The motion and amendments were voted on seria- tim, and carried unanimously. Dr. Prato Hascn, secretary of the Returning Board, reported in reference to the application of Dr. SaMUEL STERNUM for membership, that the gentleman had received more than the requisite number of white balls, and was consequently not elected. Dr. Pecroratis Potts, chairman of the Commit- tee on Ethical Pathology, then offered the following report : “Your committee has subjected the specimens of codes submitted to them to a thorough analysis, with the following results: Each specimen, after being macerated in kerosene, was mixed with an equal quan- tity of tobacco and reduced to an impalpable powder by a process of slow combustion, in a common clay pipe. The volatile properties, of course, escaped in gas and smoke. There was sufficient residue, how- ever, for microscopical examination. The committee *- LIFE: finally determined that the active principles of each specimen was in all respects the same as the well- known ‘ethi-codein,’ an alkaloid obtained from the expressed juice of the grandpapaver somniferum. The committee, therefore, took the liberty of ordering an entirely new code from their instrument makers, which they would emphatically recommend to the associa- tion. Dr. Sally Silleck rose to inquire whether this code buttoned in front or behind. (Jeers and _ hisses, during which the delegate was called to order by the chair). “The committee would call attention to the follow- ing points of pre-eminence over all other codes, viz.: 1. Elasticity, the stiff backs of the old codes being discarded. . Ease of adjustability, fitting perfectly man, woman and child, 3. Perfect digestibility, being suited to the tenderest stomach. 4. This code can be washed, and in some cases whitewashed. 5. The price of this code is within the reach of all, viz., one dime a square foot, one cent for every additional two words, five cents extra in sheep.” “nr The committee felt justified in assigning a title, which should embrace all the worthy, and exclude all the objectionable features of the ancient codes. They, therefore, had decided to designate it as ‘ Ethi-opian,’ as distinguished from ‘ Etht-codein,’ and spell it with a Capital E.” (Continued cheering.) The chloral club of the association then sang: “ Blessed be the code which binds,” after which the report of the committee was adopted unanimously, amid the wildest enthusiasm, and the meeting was ad- journed. “ Tuose picture-cards I brought back from Boston,” remarked Mrs. Partington, in a pensive mood. “ They are momentums of the Art Loan Imposition.” The man who is fond of his ante And dotes upon flushes and straights, Most usually visits his uncle If not smiled upon by the Fates. S.C. C. Mal & propos.—The bashful man. Crux Mathematiconeur—The plus sign. Bis dat qui Cito dat.—so% off for cash. “ Faber" sua fortune.—The reporter. Auxilium ab alto——Supported by the alto. Un homme de bien* —A Bostonian. Gloria virtutis umbra—Glory puts virtue in the shade, Genius loci.—The country editor. '@ No one with a Parisian accent can understand this joke. It is intended only for Bostonians who have been abroad.—Ed.] ae comicbooks.com