Life, 1883-11-01 · page 5 of 16
Life — November 1, 1883 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis The upper cartoon depicts ancient Greek scenes labeled with Greek names (Tay, Fay, Bobtail, Philips, Opp, Aory, Dawes, Sullivan). These are **bas-reliefs from modern Athens** attributed to a period before "the final invasion of the barbarians." The joke appears to be satirizing contemporary American political figures by disguising them as classical Greek sculptures. The text labels suggest recognizable names from early 20th-century American politics, though the specific individuals remain unclear from the image alone. The lower section, "Old Hats," is an essay defending the wearing of old hats as a mark of distinction and character—a humorous counterpoint to fashion concern, emphasizing that worn hats reveal the wearer's indifference to frivolous social pretense.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
*LIFE- ass Tay.Poy xot Borah. BAS-RELIEFS FROM THE MODERN ATHENS. ATTRIBUTED TO A PERIOD IMMEDIATELY PRECEDING THE FINAL INVASION OF THE BARBARIANS. OLD HATS. HE dawn of civilization, says Col. Ingersoll, dates from the innovation of suspenders and “ plug” hats. Neither Buckle nor Guizot refer to this start- ling fact in their exhaustive histories, and why it should be given to a pagan to make the discovery at this late day is a problem that puzzles and overwhelms the an- tiquarian mind. If Col. Ingersoll would win renown as an antiquist and historian, he must be exact and state as accurately as may be the style of hat adopted when the race was reclaimed from a savage state, with a few reflections upon the shape of hat-racks in vogue in those days. It would also be interesting to know if the first savage who sheltered his scalp under a chimney-pot hat ran against clothes-lines while peram- bulating in back yards, and whether he was obliged to “wet” his hat, in accordance with an imperative cus- tom of the present day, and also whether the primitive hat was worn to the place where the heathen wor- shipped, and made to perform the office of a contri- bution box. If these questions are set down as puerile, irrelevent and unworthy of consideration, it may be accounted an expression of pique on the part of indi- viduals who wear old hats, under whose cover is done an infinite amount of loose thinking and false generali- zation, Yet why despise an old hat? Are old hats the final refuge of sad-eyed scholarship and worn-out profli- gacy from the slings and arrows of the world? Res- pectability hides in a gig and wears an old hat, and pride is never humbled by the consciousness of its dilapidated felt or beaver, but reveals its true and essential quality in the rakish set of the hat. Honor him for great gifts of mind and heart who dares cling to an old felt or chimney-pot, and passes hat stores with never a stray, wistful glance in the show windows. St. Francis of Assisi, who called poverty his pride, was not ashamed to go to mass in an old hat with.a tattered brim. So, in the spirit of Franciscan philosophy, let old hats be worn proudly by lovers, gray-beards and titled gentlemen. Let us recognize the old hat as a mark of distinction. What signifieth the style of the hat so long as the head giveth it an expression that cannot be counterfeited? Suppose the band slips off, or the crown is crushed in by a falling brick from a tipping hod or a tottering chimney, or a gust of wind carries it into a frog-pond, or it receives a mild bap- tism in the gentle rain, There is a limbo for old hats where they may be ironed out and dried out, anda needle and thread may repair the rents in their faded crowns. Also hats show which way the wind blows, and old hats offer less resistance to Boreas’s blasts than new hats. When a man’s hat becomes antiquated a stiff breeze fails to keep him within doors. Let the wind blow and play the mischief with his hat, as it comicbooks.com