Life, 1883-10-18 · page 10 of 16
Life — October 18, 1883 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Explanation for Modern Readers This page contains two satirical pieces from Life magazine: **"De Profundis Clam-Av-I"** is a humorous poem parodying serious Latin literature. A fisherman expecting to catch trout instead catches a clam—a pun on the Latin phrase "de profundis" (from the depths). The poem's title mimics legal/religious formality while mocking disappointed expectations. The secondary poem uses the clam as a metaphor for an unimpressive marriage, where a man married an imposing woman only to regret it. **"Mottoes for the Many"** satirizes various professions through cynical one-liners—judges profit from fines, plumbers charge excessively, priests benefit from death ("While there's life, there's Pope"), etc. These mock corruption and self-interest across social institutions. **"American Aristocracy No. VI"** critiques wealthy New York society women who live beyond their means on Fifth Avenue, spending lavishly on rent while owing tradespeople money and avoiding paying caterers—exposing hypocrisy beneath claims of aristocratic respectability.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A FISHERMAN on trout intent Had cast his line right merrily ; He wanted trout, and never meant With other fish to be content ; And so he fished quite; warily. But when at last a bite he got, And hauled in with celerity, Instead of trout, for which he sought, He found that he a clam had caught, Despite his great dexterity. MOTTOES FOR THE MANY. HE Judge's.—Make way while the Court fines. The son-in-law’s——A bride cometh before a t squall. The bird fancier's—All that twitters is not sold. John Kelly’s.—Civil service reform fathers no boss. The plumber’s.—It never drains but it costs. The cremationist’s—One good urn preserves you, brother. The dunn’s.—Where there's a bill there ’s a pay. The priest’s.—While there’s life, there’s Pope. The dairymaid's.—It's a cold day that has no churning. J. J. J. DE PROFUNDIS CLAM-AV-I. I loved a very stately maid ; & She bore herself impressively ; oh] . With manner grand, demeanor staid, She was a most impressive maid. I loved her quite excessively. I married that majestic girl, Rejecting others scornfully. I thought I had of pearls the pearl, I never saw so grand a girl ; But now I mourn quite mournfully. Well! It was a really handsome clam, Quite free from pomp and vanity ; | But still the fisherman said, “ Dam! ’T is not a trout; ‘tis but a clam, And therefore my profanity.” H. A. FREEMAN, AMERICAN ARISTOCRACY. No. VI. *s The art of our necessities is strange, That can make vile things precious, Come—your hovel ! Poor fool and knave, I have one part in my heart, ‘That's sorry yet for'thee.""—Lear., /1/., 2. Tre author of these papers regrets to announce to his several gratuitous correspondents of the week past, that he has been compelled to exile their contributions to that mysterious wicker bourne whence no contribution ever returns. “Why not touch up Mrs, De Pucssy ?” asksa fair, but, I fear, somewhat malicious one of these. ‘* She has an income of exactly $3,600 a year, and she spends $3,000 of that in house rent, that she may live on Fifth Avenue. Madame Cretonne told me yes- terday that she has owed her $761 for two years, and I Anow that last Thursday Bisque, the caterer, positively refused to furnish the dinner she was to give Mr. BELFAIR, the young English mil- lionaire, on the ground that she had not paid for two served last spring. Her three daughters are so palpably in search of "—etc., ete, Now, this is all very wrong. Why, in the name of humanity, comicbooks.com