Life — October 11, 1883 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

184 * LIFE: CARPETS. REMOVAL. At the close of the present Season we will remove to our new and commodiove buildings. 797 and 799 THIRD AVENUE, Cor, 49th Street (now in course of construction). To avoid moving our present immense stock, we shall offer it at prices that will command certain and immediate sale, Steck is unusually lage, and selected by experienced buyers from both foreign and domestic markets, and embraces all the new patterns and shades in Axminster, Moguette, Velvets, Smyrnas, Brussels, Tapestries, Ingrains, Damasks, WITH BORDERS TO MATCH. ORIENTAL CARPETS and RUGS, also Kensington Art Squares, in all sises, Mattings and Floor Cloths of all descriptions. Window Shades a Specialty. We must sell this stock or move it at a great expense, therefore prices will be made to insure sale to all who ap- preciate excellent goods way below market prices. Purchases made by readers of this paper delivered free of charge. REUBEN SMITH, No. 4 Fourth Avenue, N. Y. Near Cooper Institute. 3rd and 4th Avenue cars pass the door, ADVERTISERS Can learntheexactcostof any proposed line of Ad- vertising in American Papers by addressing Geo. P. Rowell & Co's Newspaper Adv'g Bu- reau, loSpruceSt.,N.Y. “Way does a kiss raise the spirits?” it's the cream of ta ta."—Lamfoon, Dr. Gairrin, the stepfather of Miss Mary Ander- son, writes to a Louisville friend as follows : “ While we are boating on the Thames me and Mary is the synoshure of all eyes."—Courier-Fournal, WANTED-A JOKE, Hand me the dic- “Because IVE me a pair of scissors ! tionary | Bread—bred; that's good. No,'I've used that before. O solemn humor, how dost thou afflict me ? My jokes look blue. This one about the cucumber Is too much like the one about the aj What fearful puns I made upon the fair— Fair, fare ; ‘* fair maids and hardly fair ;” two kinds of fair. © What can I write? A joke? I will, about a man Beating a carpet.. No, a woman throwing a stone. No, no} about a man falling down stairs By stepping on a plug of laundry soap. Alas! Thate this dismal funny business. My memory has a thousand several jokes, ‘And every joke has been told several times. ‘And all the boys condemn me for my jokes As being, at least, accessory to their theft. Methought the ghosts of all the various jokes That I ever heard, or read, or made, Came to my desk, and every gne did show A genealogical record running back, Without a break, four hundred thousand years, And every one among them wore the accursed brand Of the blue-pencil dude, —R. F. Burdette, IMPORTANT. When you visitor leave New York City, save Bagaage Expressage and Carriage Hire and stop af the GRAND. UNION HOTEL, ppbesite Grand Central Depot, Four Hundred and Fifty (450) elegant rooms, fitted upat a cost of one million dollars, reduced to. §r and upwards per day, European plan. Elevator, Restaurant supplied with the best. Horse cars, stages and elevated railroad to all depots. "Families can live better for less money at the Grand Union Hotel than at any other first-class hotel. ia | GOLD MEDAL, PARIS, 1878, Breaktest Cen Warranted absolutely pure Cocoa, from which the excess of Oil bas been removed. Tt has three times the strength of Cocoa mixed with Starch, Arrowroot or Bugar, and {a therefore far more econom!- cal. It is delicious, nourishing, strengthening, casily digested, and admirably adapted for invalids a well as for persons in health, Bold by Grocers everywhere. W. Baker & Co., Dorchester, Mass. HOTELS. _PARKER HOUSE EUROPEAN PLAN. Harvey D. PARKER & Co., MARVEY D, PARKER, BOSTON, MASS, JOSEPM M BECKMAN, KDWARD 0. FUNCHARD, COMMON SENSE COMPRESSED. INDIGESTION, BILIOUSNESS, CONSTIPATION, HEART BURN, + IT 18 DIFFICULT TO GIVE IN A DOB. Y EN LINES THE REASONS WHY TAR. RANT’S SE! ER BILE; a PERSPIRATION ; SIXTHLY, IT RELIEVES THE SYSTEM FROM UNWHOLEYOME HUMORS, AND SEVENTHLY, If TRANQUILIZES THE NERVES; BIGHTHLY, IT ACTS UPON THE BLOOD A8 A ALL STOMACH DEPURENT; AND LASTLY, IT PORMS ONE OF THE MOST ‘DELICIOUS COOLING DRAUGHTS TUAT EVER PASSED DOWN THE THROAT OP AM INVALID, TROUBLES. ~ cComicbooks.com