Life — September 13, 1883 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

> LIFE: Butcher, to fidgetty customer : YOU'D BETTER TAKE A LIVE FOWL, MA'AM. ‘THEM ’S THE BEST.” Fidgetty customer: But HOW CouLD I KILL IT? Butcher : Ow, WE'D KILL IT FOR You. “ WE KILL TO ORDER,” AS THE HANGMAN SAID TO THE MAN THAT TRIED TO BEG O THE GOING OF ARTHUR. EFORE they went a-fishing in'the West There came on Arthur, sleeping, several men Left on the civil service catechism, shaken out, And like perturbéd ghosts, ghostly that ghast, Went shrilling, ‘* Hello! Hello!” all the night ; “ Arthur ! to-morrow thou shalt pass away Farewell! there is an isle of rest for thee, Because the fare will fare too high for us, To follow thee.” Then Arthur woke and called, “Well, Iam blown,” or, ‘1am flown ;” ** Am blown along a wandering windly wind,” For blown is blowed, else what is blowed but blown ? “Who spake? A dream? 0, light up all the gas, Go ‘way !" he said, and sbrilled the voice again, More shrilly than it shrilled before, * All right ; i'm ga'wayin!” This heard the bold Phil Sheridan, and spake, For never yet his lips he oped, but spake Or took he summat ; summat for his throat: **Oh me; mind not these-dreadful dreams, but rise; * Thear the steps of Modoc in the west, And with him many squaws and braves Once thine, now grosser grown than heathen, With rashen rations of the government, And right good cheer from spoilen sutlermen. Arise, go forth, and cast a fly or two.’” * Then spake good Arthur to Phil Sheridan : “* Far other is this country in the West Whereto we move, than is the Restigouche, Wherein for salmon I have fishen oft, And caughten raiment damp and awful colds.” And yet he smiled—they all did, more or less— And went, Due west his buckboard ceaseless went, And old man Modoc, and his tribe, Came from the sunset bounds of Lava-bed, And all the Creeks came creaking down to him, And the Crows shrilled about him with the Kaws, And the Pawnees brought in their uncle's pledges, Whereat he laughen, saying, * Yes, I know,” As one who had been there himself, long time ago ; And Cheyenne their Arapahoes at him— The only hose they war, and them they wore The full-orbed round of the full-orben year. Came the Pueblos ; and the Utes came to Sioux For guns and whisky, for their health was poor, And their crops famished for the white man’s drink. Came the Navajoes, calling him by name, And saying that a genuine Chippewas Of the old block, and that he Ottawa Their wishes well ; and the Spokanes came And whispern in his ear, * Osage,” they said, Of Oriental Washington, behold the Okanagaus, Of Western Washington, the only Irish Indians In all your land. “Sho, shonee !"" quothen he, And in Nesqually mood he said, ‘‘ We Otoe Makah break, and end this council Wichitas outlasted all my patience. And I fear me much that lest I may Kickapoo Indian till his own Blackfeet Shall break his Flathead." He Comanche to laugh, And turned to where the swift Gros Ventre winds Its rocky way. He took in his right hand His rod of split bamboo, Excalibur, And strongly wheeled and threw the fly, and lo, ‘The silken line, outflung upon the tide, Tangled, and lay upon the dancing waves A fiery, wild, untamed ‘* Y and dot.” Rost. J. BurbEtTe. UNDESERVED REPROOF. HE voice of the old Judge was choked with emotion as he ent on speaking : serable creature, six times have you appeared before me at this bar. Drink has drowned in you all sense of shame—made _you insensible not only to disgrace, but to any feeling of human- ity. Your children are branded with the stigma of a drunkard’s name, and starved by a drunkard’s appetite. Rum shows itself in your trembling limbs and in your bleared and watery eyes ; it has made of your nose a warning beacon "— “Chudge, tondt you gall no names to dot nose. Dot nose vas a pig. high-doned nose as you nefer see, unt, Chudge, dot nose was vearful ashame of me. Chust you vatch him plush.” comicbooks.com