Life — September 13, 1883 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

= VOL. II. SEPTEMBER 131TH, 1883. 1155 BRoapway, New York. Published every Thursday, $5 a year in advance, postage free. Single copies, 10 cents. HE Circumlocution Committee of the Senate has succeeded in eliciting the information from Dr. NorvIN GREEN that the ‘* Western Union Telegraph Company is not run fro bono publico.” The satisfaction with which the settlement of the long-mooted question will be received, must necessarily be general. es AYS the MY. ¥. Observer: “Every admirer of true woman- hood will*be glad to learn that the students at Vassar College have awakened to the fact that life is real and life is earnest. It is beautiful to see young girls, pausing upon the threshold of a worldly career, renounce the shallow artifice and empty vanities of fashionable life, and zealously bend their energies towards a higher, holier plane of usefulness, that they may be fit to occupy the peerless eminence of the Ideal.” N. B,—The Vassar girls are learning how to make pie. s 8 «@ HE introduction of nitro-glycerine into therapeutics must naturally be regarded with uneasiness by every citizen in- terested in the public welfare. If the drug is cumulative, and there is no reason to suppose it is not, a month's treatment will undoubtedly so load the patient up that he will be really danger- ous to handle except with extreme caution, and explosions of invalids may reasonably be expected to occur on the streets at any time. Fancy such items as the following appearing daily : Terriric ExpLosion IN Hic Lire: Yesterday, at 3 P. M., as the Honorable Davis Davin, who has been under nitro-glycer- ine treatment for two years, was chasing a cross-town car at 23rd Street and Broadway, he was accidently exploded by con- tact with the Hon. Witttam E, Evarts who was coming in the opposite direction. The concussion shattered every window in the Fifth Avenue Hotel, and two fragments of the honorable gentleman were hurled as far as 126th Street, where they were subsequently found and identified. No insurance. Gross CareLrssness.—Late last evening, as Mr. TALLBOYS was going into the Madison Square Theatre, he was inconsider- ately jostled by some unknown person and exploded. The fresco and stained-glass windows were damaged to the extent of $700. A New Derarture.—Mr. O'Donovan Rossa, the patriot, who has been a nitro-glycerine drinker for several months, sailed yesterday on the Brittanic. He proposes to visit the House of Lords and induce the janitor to club him. ‘The result is awaited with lively interest. ‘6 P S I SEE that the Count pe CHaMmBorD was also * “"* worth $12,000,000, Make the rest of the simile as strong as you can."—S. F. 7. e 8 «& TE most touching episode in Mr. Jay GouLp’s autobiography, as given by himself before the Senate Committee, was the narration of how once, in the sweetly innocent days of his youth, while the angels still choired to the young-eyed cherubim and all heaven thrilled with expectant joy, he actually earned a dollar, e 8 28 Wy the Riverdate's boiler exploded : ist Inspector: Because the water was too low. 2ud Inspector; Because the water was too high. grd Inspector : She carried too much steam. 4th Inspector : Engineer blew her off too often. sth Inspector : Did n't blow her off often enough. 6th Inspector » Blessed if 1 know. oc an 8 [Age oaks from little acorns grow, and the public was pleased to learn from Mr. Goutp's own lips that the Western Union monopoly, with its far-reaching arms and fatal grasp upon the poor, was his own special creation for the sole purpose of providing Mr. THomas Eckert with a situation where he could earn his living. This shows what a truly good man to the needy Mr. Gou_n is. es 2 «6 EVERY woman of proper feeling will draw a long sigh of happy relief now that poor dear FRANK JAMES, that quite too delicious bandit, has been finally acquitted. s 28 @ “cs I SEE it stated that in Norway a first-class dinner costs only 25 cents. Do you think it advisable to announce that I am not a Norwegian ?"—Z, Delmonico, s 8 «@ “cs ] NOTICE it is reported that an earthquake or something recently swallowed up a large party in Ischia. From what I have recently observed in Ohio I believe this to be true.” —Grorce Hoapty, THAT great luminary, the New York Sun, has completed the soth year of its radiant work, and now wheels its way sturdily towards the century mark. Whether the Republican party goes or not, nobody can deny the Rev. JASvER's assertion that ‘De sun do move.” comicbooks.com