Life — August 23, 1883 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OUR LATE ARRIVAL. (THe Movern Dupe.) LIVE in blissful idleness— Society ’s a bore. I languidly attitudinize Outside my Hotel door. My costuming ’s a work of art, Untaught in any school ; My clothing, gems in every part, Is made for me by Poole.— . My bootlets taper at the toe With upward inclination, And ‘pon my word, wher’er I go, Excite vast admiration. By ‘ Bennet ” hat, with sweeping brim, Most surely is becoming, My creamy tie, with silver pin, Is positively stunning. My collar is a tidy pile, Uncomfortable rather, But comfort must be waived for style, In one way or an other. I wear a single glass, you know, With just a dash of guile. I'm not Myopic—bless you, no ;— ’T is only London style. I fancy I’ve the finest gait Upon the Avenue,— At least ‘tis common rumor, It really must be true. I may add—It 's rather awkward And excessively—ah !—rude, Of vulgar-minded persons, To mention me a “ Dude.” The meaning of this modern skit My Webster does not render,— I see the papers mention it As of the neuter gender. A rum thing that, and beastly rude, A caddish application To a mere habilitude Of foreign importation. Society's a beastly bore— I positively shun it. I think I’ve hit a better score, And I intend to run it. -LIFE- TRIALS OF A MT. DESERTER. INTERCEPTED LETTER NO, 2. Bar Harsor, Me. Aug. 18th, '83. EAR LURLIE: I &now you will forgive me, you dear, sweet darling girl, for not writing since yesterday, but you know I went canoeing this morning, and just after I returned we went to Lena Randolph's Jordan’s Pond picnic and stayed all day. Lena is just too aw/ully sweet for anything to me, on account of Mr. Rathbone. He is the one I wrote you about Thursday evening. Do you know, he has the loveliest eyes I think I ever saw—except Archie's, of course. By the way, I quite forgot to tell you that Archie and Carrie Van Salmon must have had a quar- rel, for yesterday he sat smoking a cigarette on the piazza when she was not fwenty feet away, and he did not go up to even speak to her for at least a quarter of an hour. And then he rushed up and pretended he had not seen her, and they went down to the Rocks together, and she kept him there until a half an hour after his engagement with me. Isn't she just the most odious girl, Lurlie? Of course I would have been furious, but Mr, Rathbone came up ten minutes before the hour, and I really forgot all about my engagement with Archie until he reminded me of it. Mr. Rath- bone is just the loveliest man here. He is tall and slender and plays tennis and has dark eyes and the sweetest white flannel suits you ever saw, Lurlie. We talked about love at first sight, and he said that with his passionate, Southron nature, to love a woman at all was to love her madly, wildly, absolutely, the first time he saw her. And then he looked away from me with such a dreamy, poetic, far-off look that I posi- tively felt a ¢4ri// go through me until papa came up and asked whose pug that was fighting with the yellow dog in front of the telegraph office. Just as if Mr. Rathbone was really looking at a dog fight while talking soto me! He has such a sad expression in his eyes, too, Lurlie. I am sure he has a history. What a dreadfully heartless woman she must have been— don’t you think so, Lurlie? Mamie says that Lulu Savage, who is from Richmond, you know, told her. that Mr. Rathbone fell regularly in love with every new girl he met, but 7 know that Lulu Savage has al- ways been saying something malicious about everybody ever since Paul Heman snubbed her and engaged him- self to May Livingston—has n't she, Lurlie? But J have n't told you about the picnic! You see it was very small—only three buckboards and Archie's dog- cart. There was Lena Randolph and that horrid little Gregory Jones—he gave a lunch in her honor on his new yacht, last Tuesday, you know;— Maude Halcombe and Harry Forbes—the way he carries on with her is just breaking Mamie’s heart;— Lulu Savage and Arthur Penwright—he is from Chi- cago, you know, but they say he is rich; — Alicia Woodland and Charlie Hattan—Alicia is a Baltimore girl and the men just rave about her complexion. I wish she'd wash her face and let me see it! Then there were Stetson Boswell and Gertrude Bliss, Gor- comicbooks.com