Life — August 23, 1883 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

VOL. If. AUGUST 23p, 1883. 1155 Broapway, NEw YorK. Published every Thursday, $5 a year in advance, postage free. Single copies, 10 cents. N EWPORT isa city about which no two authorities agree. It is claimed by one distinguished American writer that it is ‘the centre of refinement, fashion, intelligence and wealth.” Another, equally eminent, declares it to be ‘shoddy; pinchbeck, and greasy, with newly acquired and vulgarly used wealth.” One noted English critic, who was /éted there last year, says that ** Newport is the heaven of the toady and the snob,” while a Frenchman who had similar experience declares it to be “ the Mecca of the rich who can be worshipped for nothing but their wealth.” A correspondent of the London Globe says: ‘It is the paradise of two sets of fools—the gilded clique who spend tens of thousands in the effort to outshine their neighbors, and the obsequious clique that beggars itself for. the privilege of witness- ing the pitiful contest.” M R. JOAQUIN MILLER says that he sighs for acity where “the cruel lization of modern empires is unknown" and where there is “ rest and quiet and peace to suit the hour of dreams ;" a city “‘ hedged in from bustle and feverish rush for gain,” a city “ placid as a moonlit lake and natural as a maiden’s blush;” a city where “'a poet may seek and find congenial ears and healthful hearts ;” a city where ‘ambition slumbers and nature wields the sceptre over all.” Mr. Miller is evidently truckling for a pass to Boston. ° * * HE Augusta (Ga.) Chronicle says that ‘the Boss Fool was produced at the recent military re-union in Texas.” The editor of the Chronicle must retract that statement. He has been sadly misinformed. We have facts in our possession which prove beyond the slightest doubt that Judge Hoadly has never been further South than Louisville. o s 8 ¢ Witt the fall in the price of quinine affect the shake which Mr. Conkling has given the Republican party ? * * * WISE saw and a modern instance * * * [will Mr. Courtney kindly fill out the rest of this paragraph? Ep.] * 2 6 HE annual grind of naval cadets at Annapolis must cease. There is n't steerage room now in the navy for even the Commodores. WHILE every eye is strained eastward and every energy directed against an invasion by cholera, the news comes that King Kalakaua’s Royal Sandwich Island Brass Band has arrived in San Francisco. This shows how hopeless it is to oppose fate. . * e CHATTANOOGA, Tenn., dispatch says: ‘tA bolt of lightning killed 27 hogs simultaneously at Blue Springs in this county.” Democracy may be all right, but this looks like a warning. es 8 «@ Ov highly esteemed contemporaries of Philadelphia and Chicago are cackling over the fact that telegraph wires in their respective cities have been successfully worked under ground, That is nothing new. Mr. Gould has worked the entire West- ern Union in that way ever since he first took hold of it. ° * . THE London Atheneum says that * Chicago isa hideous city,” and further remarks that ‘‘the people think the sight of killing pigs the finest in the world, and the visitor is taken to see it as the greatest of treats." That settles it. Mr. Gladstone will have tobe very careful hereafter how he plunges England into war, for the support of Mr. Carter Harrison cannot now be counted upon, es 8 6 R, CEPHAS F. ROBERTSON recently came to this country from England. He carried eleven hat boxes and a valet and was full of brandy and soda and enthusiasm. Three days after he arrived in New York he met an old friend in the usual way on the Bowery. The meeting cost Mr. Robertson $1,100. He left the following day for Chicago. The morning of his arrival in that porcine city he met another old friend who obtained from him a loan of $650.00 on $1.95 worth of glass diamonds and a certified cheque on a Canadian bank which failed two years ago. Mr. Robertson then undertook to do St. Louis, and it cost him $20 to havea lawyer explain toa Judge why one glass of pale sherry, which he had taken with a casual acquaintance, should have so muddled his brain and tangled up his legs that he lost his watch and his reputation for sobriety on the public street at rm A.M. Mr. Robertson got into Louisville just in time for the most exciting horse-race of the season, and was fortunate enough to secure a “' pointer” from a too confiding friend, which enabled him to lose $2,700 in five minutes on what is called in that depraved region a ‘‘ whipsaw."’ He then drifted into Texas, and got into a friendly argument with a cowboy and into the surgical ward of a hospital on the same day. Flying to New Orleans, he went down with the ‘‘ breakbone” fever, and then spent $2,900 trying to win the capital prize in the Lottery. He will now retum to England, and will write a book which will convey accurate impressions of this country to the British public. comicbooks.com