Life — August 16, 1883 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Published every Thursday, $5 a year in advance, postage free. Single copies, 10 cents. R. S. A. BINGHAM, a Connecticut editor, went to Red Dog, Arizona, to start a newspaper. He issued the first number, with a leading editorial bearing upon the obvious im- propriety of church elders keeping their faro banks open during the hours of service, That same evening Mr. Bingham left town. He brought away with him an excellent sample of native bitumen, an extensive collection of feathers, and two small frag- ments of lead, which nothing but sweet oil and a surgeon could induce him to part with, Candid journalism has its drawbacks in Red Dog. Burs (The following piece of “ copy” was found in Printing-House Square.) O the Foreman : Keep the following leader standing. 1 will fill in the blank spaces from day to day.—C. A. D. GARFIELD AND DORSEY. President Garfield * * * * * Mr. Dorsey * # © © President Garfield * © * © 4 * President Garfield © * * * Cabinet #6 “soap” * * * Mr, Dorsey * * * Indiana * * President Garfield * * * letters ¥ * © Mr. Dorsey * * * Mr. Dorsey # #® “soap” # * © President Garfield * © Mr. Dorsey * * # “ soap" * * President Garfield * * Mr. Dorsey * * Turn the Rascals out! Whoop! The Republican party must go! s 8 6 T# idle scribbling of names on the Brooklyn Bridge is not without a precedent. Upon the worm-eaten bulwarks of Noah's newly discovered Ark have been traced the initials S. B. A. and. J. T. se 8 8 HE U.S. . Yantic is now almost ready to go in search of Lieut, Greely’s Arctic Colony, and we would respectfully suggest, as a paster for Mr. Chandler's hat, that work be begun at once on the ship which shall go in search of the Yantic. * 6 @ HE Hon. John L. Sullivan will hereafter be mentioned as a distinguished member of the Boston bar, * 6 6 WITHIN two weeks every true sportsman in the country will rise to propose a toast to the great American quail. * . . HE summer has been unusually cool on Long Island, consid- ering the fact that Mr, Ingersoll is at Long Beach. e SpHE American Rifle Team say that their defeat at Wimbledon was due to bad weather. No one will deny it was a cold day. so . RESIDENT ARTHUR has discovered that the mouth of a Yellowstone trout is like the question of 1884. It is open for debate, * 8 « HE Cincinnati Enquirer thinks that “ Judge Hoadly will have a walk-over on Election day.” He will, he will. He won't have enough money left for car fare. s 8 « [7 is very evident that Noah's Ark was never repaired. e 8 «@ R. TOOTER WILLIAMS astonished the Thompson Street Poker Club Saturday night by raising Mr. Gus Johnson sixty-five cents whien that gentleman opened the last jack-pot of the evening. Mr. Johnson showed up two small pair and precipitately fell out, but Mr. Canteloupe Smith stood the raise and drew four cards. Mr. Williams stood pat. After the draw Mr. Smith skinned his cards, breathed very hard and bet a postage stamp and a battered cent. Mr. Williams promptly raised him a dollar and forty cents, Mr. Smith hesitated, but finally drew forth his wallet. ‘Look hyar, yo’ coon, what yo’ got dat yo'se gittin’ so brash ?”” * Yo’ fine out ef yo" bet dat dollah fohty—jes' yo" see,” retorted Mr. Williams, evidently getting excited. **Yo'se done rise de tar outen me too offen. Now what yo’ got?” said Mr. Smith, putting his money into the pot. Mr. Williams looked disconcerted. king-full,” he faltered. “ King full’s good,” said Mr. Smith. “ But I aint got it,” said Mr. Williams. “* What has yo’ got, den?” said Mr. Smith. “*T'se got three queens.” “Three queens is good,” said Mr. Smith. “But [ haint got ’em,” said Mr. Williams, “ What has yo’ got, den?” queried Mr. Smith, growing a little impatient. “ T'se got two par,” said Mr, Williams, “Dat 's good,” said Mr. Smith. “But I haint got 'em.” “Oh come, now, nigger, what has yo’ got ?° “ T’se got one par.” “Dat 's good.” “I—Ise jes’ got a small “ But I haint got it,” said Mr. Williams, whose situation was growing perilous. “ Lans’ stars, nigger, quit yo’ foolin ! What Aas yo’ got 2” Mr. Williams slowly skinned his cards, “I—I haint got nuffin.” “ WELL, DAT 's Goop !"" comicbooks.com