Life — August 9, 1883 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MY LADY’S GLOVE. 2 IS a gaut de Suede, very long wristed, And the least little bit worse for wear. Oh, many a time I 've assisted In fitting those eight-buttons there. Here's a slight rip in one of the fingers, A rip! Such a commonplace thing ; Yet 't is here that my fondest touch lingers, For I think it was made by—a ring. Was it my ring which caused the frail stitches To part in so shameful a way ? My ring, meant for life-wear, but which is Returned to the giver to-day. “Tt was all a mistake,” she asserted, As she gave me the trinket again ; Perhaps so—my taste is perverted, For I love a mistake now and then. Shall it end in this lover’s slight quarrel ? No, never—our love was too true. I will wear yet my crown of love's laurel, As now I am wearing the rue. . Come, courage, heart ; don’t be dejected, I will win back again all her love, And hold fast the hand it protected, As I hold now her dear little glove. Bessie CHANDLER. SHAKSPEARIAN NOTES. EWPORT is the local habitation and name of airy nothings. “Ir is a wise father that knows his own child” after he has returned from Europe. “Gop made him and therefore let him pass for a man” is supposed to refer to a seventeenth century dude. A new brand of whiskey manufactured in New Jersey is labelled “The choice and master spirit of this age.” Tue remark “Out, damned spots! out I say!" inclines one to the belief that Macbeth must have mistaken a trey spot for an ace. “ An’ I thought he had been valiant and so cunning in fence, I’d have seen him damned ere I'd have challenged him” is the Bard's labored way of express- ing the sentiment, “I have bit off more than I can chew.” > LIFE: “Pur out the light and then—put out the light” is conclusive enough evidence that Othello had acquired the habit of smoking in bed. From Hamlet's remark “There 's a divinity that shapes our rends” it is inferred that there must have been a pretty tailoress in the case whom Shakspeare overlooked. Puitip H. WELCH. HE SETTLED, A\ TALL, thin man who appeared to be a cross between a “Kenuck” and a Maine wood-sawyer, boarded one of the sound steamers a few evenings since, and after wandering aim- lessly about until the boat started, suddenly ran against the col- ored porter and asked: “Tsay, dark, whar kin I git my ticket 2” “Ticket, sah ! You jes’ go up to the cap'n’s office an’ settle.” “Thanks,” replied our friend. ‘My name is Josh Horn- blower and I came from Niagry Falls, and thanks to that dumned nigger I know jist about as much as I knowed afore! Say, se addressing the second officer, whar kin I git a ticket fer re ’ ‘ep up to the captain’s office over there and settle.” p up ter the cap'n's office and settle,’ eh? Why that 's what that sun-burned cuss said. You're tarnal p'lite on board this year tub. Settle? Wal, I guess I will!” Very soon, as is usual, a gong was sounded and the Porter was heard to sing, ‘* All those not having tickets will step right up to the aps office and settle !"" al, by gosh!” said Josh, ‘they ‘re mighty anxious about havin’ me step up to the cap’s room. Whar is it, anyhow? Oh, yes, I'm precious glad T ain't got no ticket, but how mighty ’com- modatin’ they are here |" And so, gathering himself together, our hero walked into the dainty little room set apart for the captain’s use, and taking off is coat and shoes he threw himself down on the comfortable lounge in which the captain takes such delight. Very soon the commander stepped in and seeing the intruder stretched at full length and puffing away on one of his choice cheroots he waxed wroth and, using some Texas language. asked the countryman ‘‘ who in Oshkosh he was and what in glory he was doing there.” “*I'm Josh Hornblower, cap!" “No! What are you doing here ?” “ Doin’ here?” “Yes, doing there!” “Why, I ain't got no ticket !” : “Well, why in blank do n't you get one? What are you lying there for?” “T tell ye I ain’t got no ticket !" “* What 's that got to do with your walking in here as if you were Old Colony himself and helping yourself to my cigars? Perhaps you 'd like to borrow my tooth brush?” “*Thanks, cap; mebbe I would. I ‘I— ** Now look a here you, I want you to dust! How came you here?” . re you own that dark horse up there in the s'loon ?” “Yes!” “* Do you own that coon with a brass band around bis hat with Sepond ifer painted onto it?” “Wall they told me to step up to the cap'n’s office and settle 1” ' “Well?” “*T stepped up!" ** The deuce you did. What then?” “ Wal, cap, then I settled. Got any whuskey ?” Three minutes later Josh was howling to be set on shore, He says something struck him kinder sudden, but just what, he can't say, there was so much of it. His physician says that the attack was a species of Bouncerius ‘Deckhandus, J. K. Banes,