Life — August 2, 1883 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

VOL. IL. 1155 BRoapDway, New York. Published every Thursday, $5 a year in advance, postage free. Single copies, 10 cents, fegySubscribers leaving town for the summer may have their copies forwarded by sending their summer address in full to this office. A\FTER carefully canvassing the situation, Lie presents the following as probable candidates for 1884 : § President, Denis Kearney. { Vice President, Leland Stanford. Alternate, U.S, Grant, § President, Bullion Tabor. ( Vice-President, William the Kid. Alternate, U. Grant. President, Billy McGlory. Vice-President, Roscoe Conkling. Alternate, U.S. Grant. § President, Frank James. ( Vice-President, Joseph Pulitzer. Alternate, U.S. Grant. { President, John L. Sullivan. Vice-President, Jesse Pomeroy. Alternate, U. S. Grant, { President, Mrs. and Mr. R. B. Hayes. CALIFORNIA, COLORADO, New York, { Missourt, MASSACHUSETTS, Outro, Vice-President, George Hoadly. Alternate, U.S. Grant. President, Secor Robinson. Vice-President, John Roach. Alternate, U.S. Grant. President, Mike McDonald. Vice-President, Carter H. Harrison, Alternate, U.S. Grant. President, J. H. Acklen. Vice-President, William P. Kellogg. Alternate, U.S. Grant. New Jersey, ILLINoIs, Lovistana, e 28 @ THE failure of the proposal to raise a eredit of 230,000,000 francs in the Paris Municipality has settled it. Neither Mr, Robeson nor Mr. Thompson will go abroad this season. * £ ¢ SEVEN hundred and nineteen patents for fire-escapes have been issued to inventors, Messrs. Beecher and Ingersoll not included. es & @ FrRoM his inability to strike that keynote, we would be led to believe that either the Democratic fog-horn is out of tune, or that Judge Hoadly plays entirely by ear, New York Bay is just now full of sharks.—New York Sun. RIGHT you ate, Brother Dana, right you are. But bless your genial soul, you need n't make a fuss about it. Con- gress is full of ‘em ;so are the Legislature and Wall Street ; so are Temple Court and the Mills Building and the Western Union and the City Hall, and if a few of ‘em have slopped over into the Bay it is rather a good thing. There are enough of them left to make things lively. oe ¢ 4 ls superintendent of the Western Union reports that the condition of that estimable monopoly is ‘‘O. K.” Does this stand for Orful Kolicky ? e 8 ¢ W'TH cholera, yellow fever and Murat Halstead’s campaign threatening us at one time, the outlook is indeed gloomy. es 8 @ HE twelve jurors in the Dorsey case have been honorably added by the Royal College of Astronomers to the list of “fixed” stars. * 8 ¢ PERSONS who have seen how a plucked owl or a shaved poodle shrinks, will understand how cruel and inhuman is the edict now going forth against banged hair, J ECENT facts embolden us to back George Hoadly of Ohio to swim against Benjamin F. Butler, of Massachusetts, through the Niagara Whirlpool, the winner to take two-thirds of the gate money. Competent Democratic authorities say that no vortex in the world can suck Hoadly’s head under. e 8 ¢& AN anticte seriously reflecting upon Hell recently appeared in these columns, and an esteemed subscriber angrily withdrew his subscription. We regret his action, but are com- pelled to admire the patriotism which inspired it. * 68 « H*‘sS any calm-minded citizen yet paused to consider what would be the result if, in the noiseless depths of the des- perate West, the two great junketing caravans of Arthur and Hatch should meet, mistake each the other for a party of sav- ages, as they could easily do, and indulge in a mutual and rough- and-tumble massacre ? * 8 «& THE pleasing intelligence came from Joliet, Indiana, last week, that one hundred persons were poisoned by eating ice cream, and every unmarried man in the country promptly pasted a copy of the dispatch in his hat.