Life — July 12, 1883 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE OCEAN STEAMER. THE WRONG MAN, WILL YOU BE KIND ENOUGH, SIR, TO INFORM ME SIR, THE LOCATION OF No. 418. TAKE TWO TURNS AND A HALF HITCH, LET GO THE WEATHER MAIN BRACE, CLEW UP YER T’ GALLANT STAY-SAIL, PORT YER HELM, AND ASK THE MAN AT THE WHEEL. ‘THANKs. VERY OBLIGING. LOVE you! Oh I love you true!” (With fervor spoke the youth), “ And yet I cannot marry you For many a month in sooth. “For I am poor, ah! young and poor, With neither wealth nor fame ; But when I fame and wealth secure, Then you, my bride, I'll claim. “But though I cannot ask you now To share my humble fate ; Pray give to me an answering vow, And tell me, Love, you'll wait.” “Oh, yes, I’ll wait,” the maiden said ; “That ’s not so hard to do ; For meantime I'll another wed While waiting, sir, for you.” Joun P. Lyons, SWEETS OF ARCADIA. [From the Journal of a Summer-boarder.] ERE in this secluded vale of the Green Moun- tains am I enjoying perfect happiness and repose at the weekly expense of only three dollars and a half. Evidently the wicked extortion practiced at the popu- lar summer resorts is here unknown, And what a cool, bracing air is here ! What delightful scenery! What simple, amusing old-fashioned people ! My host is a man in a thousand—the beau-ideal of the open-hearted Yankee farmer; a man frugal in his pleasures, full of interest in his crops, and eager that I, his guest, should taste all the sweets of rural exist- ence. A smile of good-will is always on his face when he meets me. Far from restricting the freedom of my enjoyment, far from constantly urging me to keep out of his standing grass, and not to walk through his fields of rye, he exclaims in his hearty way, “Go where you will.” He is, in fact, so manifestly pleased when I go out and roll on his uncut hay, and trample down his rye, that I generally devote an hour before break- fast to this exercise. Did ever farmer good-humoredl permit such liberties? Whatever I do he says in his genial, hospitable manner, “That’s right, that's right ;" and remember, I am only paying three dollars and a half a week ! My kind entertainer owns a dog of which he is very fond; but for myself, I detest dogs, and when this brute comes nosing around I am in the habit of kicking him hard enough, it would seem, to dis- courage his curiosity. But the dog never gets put out. However much I kick him, he always returns to gather fresh caresses as soon as the pain sub- sides. A kind, forgiving creature. I did think that the farmer, when he saw the emphatic rebukes which the pacific overtures of his pet encountered, would lose temper, but he merely said pleasantly, “‘ That’s right, I like to see young people enjoying of themselves." Such being the case I cheerfully reserve half an hour on every afternoon except Sundays for kicking the farmer's dog. And to think I only pay three dollars and a half a week ! My dear old host has a daughter, a sweet, artless maiden. I sometimes think, Why not sever the ties which bind me to city and to care, marry this lovely girl, and end my days here in Arcadia? But as to this rural nymph. Never was woman less coquettish, more natural, Once, ina weak moment, I begged of herakiss. Without blush or protest, frankly, fearlessly she turned her lips to mine. Sweeter than wild thyme, more delicate than molasses and water. I afterwards re- peated the experiment, and established beyond a doubt the existence of a new chemical affinity. I felt sure that in kissing the old man’s daughter I had reached the limit of his good nature. Even hospitality was not called upon to sanction such liberties. But the dear old boy said in his cheering tone, “ That's right, that 's tight, have a good time.” So I am falling into the habit of spending the time between dusk and dark in kissing the old man’s daughter. And I'm only paying three dollars and a half a week ! comicbooks.com