Life — July 12, 1883 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

> LIFE: ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS, ComMISSIONER T.—1. Certainly, if you are not found out. 2, Which would we rather have—a million dollars or that aqueduct ? Why—er—of course —well—but we must see the figures. Beirne, Virginta.—1. Yes, near-sighted men are safe game. 2 Should not your “ picture be hung in some public place ?" It probably is already. Ask the chief of police. KEELY STOCKHOLDER.—1. When the pigs begin to fly, you will be happy. RANDALL, Penn.—1, What sort of a man is Watterson? A fair, fragile blonde, with a dewy, sensitive mouth, and peach-blossom cheeks, and Oh! Randall, you can't think how modest. 2. Does he really want you to give up hope of the speakership? Well, Watter- son, you know, is self-sacrificing. He knows how many cares the speakership would entail upon you, and sooner than see you suffer, he would take it himself, That's the kind of a martyr Watterson is, and please remember it, Randall, O. Witpe, London.—Yes, Sampson also once had his hair cut, But there the resemblance between you ceases, Kino CHOLERA, Damietta.—1. Yes, your Highness will find this city a most agreeable place to visit, and now ready to make you com- fortable. 2. No, you have nothing to fear from the street cleaning brigade. They are waiting for your arrival, and then they will com- mence to begin to think it almost time to consider gently how your coming might have been prevented. R. G. Wurre.—Yes, as you say, they are probably called “dog days” because nothing but a dog can take any comfort in them, D. Davis.—No, it would not be indiscreet for you to leave off your heavy flannels from now until the first of September. AMATEUR DruGGIsT.—No, your expertness with the soda spigot dots not entitle you to a diploma for fizziology. PROVERBIAL PHILOSOPHY. Don't look for teeth in the mouth of a gift horse. Many hands make a heavy Jack-pot. The racing man makes the money go. A cremated child is beyond dreading the fire. One swallow does not make a bummer. A man is known by the cigars he keeps.* Mors-Vivens. * Not those he gives away. ‘Tue King of Spain kisses the Queen of Spain by telegraph. Why ?—Boston Post. Do you know nothing of Spanish garlic, dear brother? Tue destruction of the world cannot be very far distant. France is preparing to invade China ; the cholera is in Egypt; and Murat Halstead is making ready to write again on the subject of the silver dollar. . A BALLADE OF WINE. E YES lit with luminous drips ; Mouth kinked with tremulous glee : Daintily poised finger-tips Clinking a goblet with me. Something said whisperingly, Which I but vaguely divine, Though I smile wisely, and she Laughingly winks at the wine. Ho! how delightfully trips Each little 602 mot that we Chase up and down, between sips— Dazzlingly dalliant and free. She has a wit, I can see, Almost the equal of mine! She—as though fain to agree— Laughingly winks at the wine. Slowly the utterance slips Down a mysterious key— Falters and wavers and dips Into a strange lethargy : Hands limply drop to the knee— Fancies quite hard to define— Somebody—who can it be ?— Laughingly winks at the wine. "ENvol. Vision, half lost in eclipse, Focusing waiter, with sign— Finger laid over his lips— Laughingly winks at the wine. J. W. Rirey. comicbooks.com