Life, 1883-07-05 · page 7 of 16
Life — July 5, 1883 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Page Analysis The main narrative describes a violent altercation between "Rev. Dr. Elder" and "Dr. Parker" involving rancid elders—apparently a satirical account of a religious or institutional dispute that escalated into physical fighting, with detailed descriptions of punching, ear-biting, and eye-gouging. The titled cartoon "AS RICH AS MINUS" mocks wealthy pretension through dialogue where a gilded youth boasts of attending a dinner where guests were worth $100,000,000 combined, yet his own worth was negative ($99,992,452-37½), suggesting he's a financially ruined heir spending inherited wealth. Below are two small fishing cartoons titled "ANTICIPATION" and "REALIZATION," contrasting optimistic expectation against disappointing reality. The page appears to be general satirical commentary on social hypocrisy and human folly rather than specific contemporary political events.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
hundred rancid elders at his back. It was a decisive moment. ‘The antagonists glared upon each other with that deadly glare which admits of no quarter. A few volleys of scattering hymn books and Sun- day-school inkstands were exchanged by the backers of each, and then the two sainted antagonists gripped in deadly struggle. After a moment's wild strife they parted. Then the Rev. Dr. Elder launched viciously out with his left eye and countered with terrific violence on Dr. Parker's right knuckles. Simultane- ously the latter dealt Dr. Elder a tre- mendous blow on the foot with his stom- ach, giving vent to a loud and aggressive “Ha!” as he did so. Both combatants then lay down awhile, and were sponged off with ink spilled during the preliminary skirmish. “Time” being called Dr. Parker hurled himself underneath Dr. Elder and inserted his nose between that gentleman’s teeth, while Dr. Elder re- taliated by twining his hair around Dr. Parker's fingers and working it in parox- ysms of great violence. In the third round Dr. Elder forced the fighting by ramming his left ear down Parker's throat, while the latter inflicted severe punishment by pressing his right eye against Dr. Elder’s thumb, and howl- ing like a Comanche with delirium tremens. Dr. Elder freed his thumb, art- fully slipped into the tank, and drew Mr. Parker in on top of him, holding him in that position until Mrs. Elder could ren- der noble assistance by combing his hair with the legs of a chair. Meanwhile the elders made free with bench slats and prayer stools, and hammered more re- ligion into each other's heads than had been there before in a year. This affair naturally has succeeded in concentrating popular interest in Hart- ford to a purely religious focus, and sec- ular pugilism may as well take a back seat. “ag gre. AS RICH AS MINUS. WHERE WERE YOU LAST NIGHT, OLD MAN? Gilded youth (from the top of the table): O, 1 WAS AT A GRAND DINNER AT MR. VANDERDAM'S, NEVER SAW SO MANY RICH PEOPLE TOGETHER BEFORE. ‘THE AGGREGATE WEALTH AT TABLE, NOT COUNTING ME, WAS AT LEAST $100,000,000, COUNTING ME, IT WAS ABOUT $99,992,452.37%4 ' ANTICIPATION. } THE zealots who suppressed Salmi Morse would do well to turn vigorous attention to that gang of dissolute tremps known as the ‘Salvation Army.” But perhaps there is no money in the venture, WE are authorized to deny the statement that Mr, John L. Sullivan, of Boston, has aban- doned his intention to spar with Mr, Samuel Tilden, of Greystone, for $5000 gate money and the cham- REALIZATION. pionship of America. comicbooks.com