Life — June 28, 1883 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUNE 28TH, 1883. 1155 BRoapway, New Yor Published every Thursday, $5 a year in advance, postage free. Single copies, 10 cents. tar Subscribers leaving town for the summer may have their copies forwarded by sending their summer address in full to this office. HO will mourn for Logan now? No one. forhim? Dorsey. Who will go e *« 8 UT scant.sympathy can be felt for that fallen son of Grease, McGeogh. He was a bold, but unscrupulous operator, and as he used his vast means to force up the price of provisions to the general discomfiture, his ruin may be looked upon as a public blessing. es 28 8 THERE isa rigid law in Arkansas against carrying pistols. So there is a lawin New York against selling beer on Sunday. Bless your soul, a good law walks hand in hand with every crime in the calendar, There is a general law against stealing, but it has to sit down with the star route verdict. ‘There are laws against cruelty to animals, and under their shadow the summer boarding houses flourish. e 8 8 HE Town Clerk of Gladstone, Canada, wants to be Chief of Police of that place, and announces as his qualifications that he has never been on the force but has ‘* seen” policemen ; is six feet high and 34 years of age; whistles well and is as savage as a meat axe, besides being married and having a good large mother- in-law. If merit has any weight this man should certainly be elected. s 8 8 ANY an eminent divine, victorious general and famous statesmen has been surrendered to the eternal keeping of mother earth with less of true grief than will follow the remains of Charley Backus to his place of rest. His ambition was to make the world forget its cares in laughter, and those who laughed with him living, will find it the easier to mourn, now that his merry song and jest are hushed forever. . 8 8 OSSIBLY Mr. Chandler is so confirmed a land-lubber that he cannot now learn how to do without a lemon and a tin basin while at sea, but he can at least set an example of zeal and incorruptibility for future Secretaries of the Navy to follow. With the sale of the rotten junk bequeathed us by Robeson’s magnificent mismanagement, the Navy practically passes out of existence. What it will be when revived depends now upon Mr. Chandler, Let him see that neither rats nor roaches have a hold upon the new ships. 23, 2 Takes 3 = = X-GOVERNOR PLAISTED, of Maine, has retired from journalism because the other editors on the paper called him “‘associate editor” and he wanted them to call him ‘‘ editor-in- chief.” Well, why couldn't they call him that just as well as any- thing else? Whatisan “editor-in-chief " ona daily paper anyhow, and what are his duties? As Shakespeare says: ‘That which we call an editor-in-chief, by any other name would do just as little.” * # 6 ONLY one thunderbolt fell in Norwich Conn., on the 21st, and yet it fired a barn, broke a dog's neck, scared a tin ped- der into epilepsy, caused a dozen runaways, smashed four buggies and a coal cart, ripped up the fire alarm telegraph line, rang all the telephone bells in town, beat a drum, singed the tail of the minister's cat, broke up seven poker parties and one prayer meet- ing and frightened an old maid’s teeth out. Now who says electricity has no power ? eo 8 « T# church militant seems to have arisen in the dangerous person of the Rev, Mr. Benjamin F. Jenkins of Mansfield, La., who recently went gunning for the Rev. J. Lane Borden and shot him so full of holes that his skin would not hold his prin- ciples. We have grown quite accustomed to the wars of clerical crackers and to the windy efforts of one divine to annihilate another with sermons, but this gunpowder method of settling ecclesiastical disputes is a new phase, as pleasant as it is surprising. o 8 THAT father Ryan, of Mobile, is a poet, no one who has read his “Conquered Banner” can deny. That he is an exemplary minister of the Gospel of Peace is questionable. It might strike the average possessor of sound sense that at this late day secession principles and bad blood are a trifle out of place. When the soldiers who fought in the late civil war bury the hatchet and fraternize, it certainly is almost time for the frocked enemies of the Union, who stayed home and contributed nothing but wind to the ‘* Lost-Cause,” to at least keep respect- fully silent. Father Ryan, however, seems to take every occasion to vaunt his lurid views and re-kindle in his audiences the olden fires of strife and hatred. He should be muzzled by his bishop, *s * 6 OvR highly esteemed contemporary the Mew York Times touches too lightly upon the following modern instance of cannibalism : ** A reporter who had seen long service on English newspapers died a fortnight ago in the person of George H. Kent.” The inference is that the reporter must have lived for some time after having been swallowed, probably breathing through the cannibal’s ears. That he was tough and indigestible is of course admissible with the fact that he had “‘ seen long service on English newspapers,” but the full particulars of the occurrence could not fail to be of interest to science, and we: breathlessly await them. Meanwhile it is evident that England is not a safe place for reporters.