Life — June 14, 1883 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: BIOGRAPHETTE. NO, XVI SITTING BULL. TEs illustrious philanthropist is said to be a lineal descendent of the famous Irish Bulls, although there is some reason to believe that he was derived from one of the Papal Bulls of the XIIth century. Sitting Bull was born in a wigwam forty-seven years ago, and has made many a wig warm since. He em- barked in the cattle and hair business when a mere lad, and has now accumulated a fortune valued at several hundred scalps and several kegs of fire water. He is the typical Cooper Indian, and dresses exactly like a retail tobacco sign. From his habit of assuming a sedentary position upon the United States troops sent in pursuit of him, he received his title. Sitting Bull has recently become a Methodist. He intends holding a camp-meeting in July, to which the Y. M. C. A., Dr. Potter, Dr. Dix and Mrs. Devereux are cordially invited, and it is hoped they will go. Upon a Dallas (Tex.) man’s tombstone is graven this touching epitaph ; “ Here lies the body of William Beven. We trust his soul is snug in Heaven. His character it was without a flaw ; But he woudd monkey with his buzz-saw.” ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS. OUTHFUL DRUGGIST.—1. No; epsom salts and prussic acid are not the same thing. 2. It depends somewhat on the verdict of the Coroner's jury. Harvarp TRUSTEE.—Do we “ think it necessary to rub it into old Ben" any more? } Joux GRreextear WurTTIER.—Send stamp for your poem. We have no puzzle department. Brapy, Washington.—1. Yes, they cut the hair quite close. 2, It "depends how long you have to serve. Wibow OF LATE AUTHOR OF Dupe Joxrs,—Yes, the remains have been forwarded C. O, D. Marx T,—Couldn't think of it. Davip D.—Yes, it is quite warm enough for us, thank you Victorta, Balmoral.—1. No, John Brown's Body" is a_ purely American lyric and has no reference to your late lamented gillie. 2. Address O'Donovan Rossa, care ‘* Irish World,” this city. Lro, Rome, 1. Yes, you are ina fix. 2. Compromise the matter and give Parnell half. 3. No, this journal is not strictly a Papal organ. . A Sirtus necessity—The dog pound. ‘ aie ae TALES FROM THE NORSE. NE day Odin put the McClellan saddle on the horse Sleipner and went to visit the giant Vafth- rudner, Sleipner was the bjoss hjoss and could go a mile inside of 1.28 as easy as lying. He had eight jlegs and “runes were carved on his teeth." The runes of yesterday’s tjurkey probably, which is usually carved on the tjeeth, Vafthrudner was a giant who prided himself on knowing as much asa man pianist. ‘This was not much for a god, but it was a great deal for a jgiant. Odin sat down and they began asking eacb other hard questions, with their heads as forfeits, until the convention sounded like the Concord summer school of philosophy, breaking out at Christmas, Odin to play jroots on Vafthrudner, called himself Gan- graad. “Do you spell it with aj?” asked Vafthrudner. “Jno,” replied Odin, “ Ji jam jnot ja Jnorsejmanjn, jbut jcan jyou jtell jme jwhy the Bjrooklyn Bjridge is like a Bjeer Sjaloon ?” “ Because he has no pocket to put it in?” said Vafth- jrudner. “No,” replied Odin, closing his eyes and looking fied, as a man who had just propounded a stjumper. To get on the other side?” suggested Vafthrudner. “ Guess again,” said the gj " “To cover his head,” tried the giant. “No,” “ Because it’s a slow pup ?” “ Nuck.” “ Because one is a daisy level and the oth—" “Tjut; tjut!" said Odin quickly, forgetting that he was only Gangraad. “T know: when it's ajar ?”” “ Noap. “ Because the cattle eat it?” “ Nary.” “ Ah—er—ah—oh pshajw ! gate!” Two pigs under the comicbooks.com