Life — May 10, 1883 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TRIOLETS, (WHAT HE SAID.) "Tis but a bon-bon kiss, I dafe to offer thee ! It cannot be amiss, ‘Tis but a bon-bon kiss— And yet; instead of this, Perhaps—Ah, no, I see ’Tis but a bon-bon kiss I dare to offer thee. Ro (WHAT SHE THOUGHT.) He's but a silly boy To give a sugar kiss— Afraid he might annoy ! He's but a silly boy ! Perhaps he don’t enjoy Another kind than this? He's but a silly boy To give a sugar kiss. J. W.B. —— | —p THE OLD MAN. ONS have their governors, daughters their fathers, pro- spective sons-in-law to whom are granted a full bill of possible rela- tions, have the Old Man. It is robably unnecessary to say that fe is the father of the Girl, The Old Man’s natural enemy is the- Young-Fellow-without-Gold - who- wants -to-marry-the-Girl, To foil him is what he lives for. - = PRESENT. Do or Du. Remnant of the Dodo. PERFECT. Dupe. The result of an over t A parasite from Yankee- done, dreary existence. dude-l. When once the Girl has definitely ascertained that the Young Fellow is to her taste, it is time wasted to bring evidence as to the absence of his character. Though he may be proved to have been a drunkard, a gambler, a liar, a jilt, or guilty of any species of knavery not incompatible with his being at large, it is all likely to go for nothing with the who will say, openly, ‘'I don’t believe it; and to herself, ‘It all happened before he knew me, He says himself he was a poor creature then.” Soa wise Old Man, while he is not by any means blind to character, will prefer to argue the money ques- tion. If he can say to the girl, ‘* Marriage with this young fel- low would make it necessary for you to take in washing,” she may hesitate. “'Sir; I love your daughter, and she loves me. I feel it to be my duty to let you know it.” It sounds like a very honorable and magnanimous speech from the Young Fellow; and it is: and he never thought so much of himself before. For he feels that in telling the Old Man he has satisfied all demands that honor would make, even upon the most Quiaotic soul, It is not his fault that he fell in love with the girl. Is she not lovely? And once having felt the spark, is he to be blamed for courting her forall he was worth until his tender feeling was reciprocated. Oh, no; of course he was not to blame. Love has a right to expression, And he asks for nothing tangible. He merely tells of the covert existence of a fact, which it seems more honest to openly proclaim. ‘*We are young,” he says, ‘‘and though I am poor, with such an inspiration I cannot fail to win a name and fortune.” Poor Old Man: If he says, “No, you can’t have my daughter,” he will hate himself for being mercenary; the Young Fellow will hate him on general principles, and the Girl will cordially dislike him for his unkindness. But if he says ‘* Yes,” he becomes responsible for the Young Fellow from that hour, and must see to it that indue time heis in a position to marry the Girl and does marry her. And meanwhile the Young Fellow will have the run of the premises without let or hindrance, and will be entitled to all rights and easements per- taining to a son of the house. This was what the Young Fellow asked for when he modestly told his love. He is a fraud—though probably he does not know it; our sympathies are with the Old Man. HOW JOHNNY BROKE THE NEWS. “cs H ma, ma,” shrieked Johnny, rushing into his mother's room, ‘ta man down street knocked Pa out with an um- brella and broke three ribs. “What! Three ribs? What will become of us. Oh, my son, your poor father will die. Here, John, ran down to Dr. Blank’s and tell him to come up immediately with bandages and all those things. Mary, get the Pond’s Extract, and tell James to bring the carriage immediately. Dear George, three ribs broken, how he must suffer. It’s awful. Thank heaven there’s the car- riage now. Doctor coming soon, John? That's good. I'm go- ing to get your father, darling, Good bye !” “ What's the matter with ma ?” said Joba as his mother drove off. ‘*Seems kinder worried. Guess I'll run across to Billie’s and help him todynamite that cat. Solong!” In the meanwhile his distracted mother was hastening to her husband's office, where much to her surprise she found him at- tending to business as usual, and as lively as a ‘‘critic.” “Why, George,” said she. “I thought you were hurt 2” ‘* Hurt? Lord no. A crank hit me with his umbrella but fortunately I got it away from him before he did much dam- age. See, there it is. There ribs broke—why, what's the matter, darling ?” “Nothing, I'm going home to see John,” was all she said. She went, and Johnny remarked afterwards that he was ‘‘sawn.” —s A STEAL cruiser—Robeson hunting a ship to repair. Ciara Morris drew well with Salvini—$4oo after each performance. Tue editor of the Waco (Texas) Sentine/, having been blown up by the explosion of a saw-mill boiler, we suppose it will now be in order to allude to him as “our highly steamed contemporary.” comicbooks.co