Life — March 15, 1883 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ANSWERED. R. WILLIE MALHEUREUX RAKE entertained on Monday evening an audience that filled Liberty Hall by a vigorous and manly protest against the Lenten discourses of the Rev. Sorghum Hicks on the advisability of keeping males in their present sphere. Many members of the Men’s Wrongs Society were present, and the speaker's reply to the reverend agitator was ushered in by some Greco-Roman wrestling and a reading from Dr. Dio Lewis’ tract on the health-lift, in which a weak-kneed man is compared to a bifurcated boiled carrot. Housekeeping was Mr. Rake’s theme, and he began by saying that Dr. Hicks lived in a boarding-house—in a mere cow-heel- and-tripe elevator. The Doctor had no more sympathy with modern housekeep- ing than a cave-dweller, The way folks keep house now just petrified him. The wife takes charge of the entire camp, and advertises it, too, on her visiting cards. The poor, downtrodden man carries up all the coals, and curses the day he became a father, The old gentleness toward men had passed away. A century ago, when a lady asked a gentleman to match three kinds of plush by a sample of thread, she said ‘“ Please." Now, she says, “* You are sure to get it wrong; you never did know enough to discard the shells in eating eg; The remedy for this state of things lies in the higher educa- tion of men. Imagine a lady brought up in striped trowsers, and with her head crammed fall of arithmetic and billiards, not allowed to wear hairpins nor to go shopping with her mother. What sort of a mother would she make at forty-five? It proves the superiority of men that they dare to marry at all, consider- ing how little they know. Not one in twenty can tell a gusset from bandoline. Mr. Rake then paid his respects to Dr. Hicks’ views on co- education, He forgot that a boy couldn't keep up with a girl because he couldn’t have a headache, and go home when the rec- itations were too hard, He failed to see that even in recreations the boys always got the bat and had to work, while the girls sat in groups and compared jewelry; that the boys had all the toil- some labor of tying tomato cans to the tails of dogs, while the girls passively ate candy and told fibs about their several mothers’ wardrobes. The Doctor had spoken of the spectres in the houses of the Nation ; but where one man had been driven to the hedge, a hundred women had cleaned house, both spring and SCRAPING AN ACQUAINTANCE. fall. During a period of three months in New York, three . . . _ women had left their homes and 463 men. This was shameful. Dedicated to Mr. Plunger Walton and the Street Cleaning ‘Think of those 463 men left disconsolate by those three women. Brigade.) “And shall I tell you," asked Mr. Rake, ‘of the women = ——_— - who have poisoned their husbands in this city? The evening would not be long enough for a recital of what they did it with. AMORETTE AND OUBLIETTE. Pie, fried steak. hash. mothers-in-law ; but why Zo on? The aN ioe record is sickening. Yet does one ever see in a newspaper the = OM AUCASSIN loved. Ualy-Ann head-line, * Another Husband Murder? Iwould like torcee the Said Lady Ann, wait five years, man married editor who would dare to print it.” And then, perhaps, TLtake you, Mr. Rake did not know “what society this learned man had ° . se : kept,” but if he would step around to his place he would find Aucassin bowed and lelithe crowd how warm a house could be made, and (in confidence) he could rashes aie show him scars which would prove that if education were to ‘nd Ate ce tent eed iast'and proud, teach women to aim higher, his head, and even his face, would Acd Fatkion bncibelorehere be marked. He could show the Reverend agitator the beauties ‘ : . and calm quict of old age stealing over matried life. His . . week mother-in-law was now over seventy, and was daily growin) Sweet notbines cloyed the world grew: xold, weaker and more uncertain with missiles. She would ere long At L an O aan 4 cP seek the golden shore. He didn’t know how the shore would wr Polted in ehurchoaed cloet stand it, but he felt sure of the old lady. otted in churchyard clover. Mr. Rake closed his address by an impassioned appeal on His green deathiiea she lett: 16 wea behalf of his downtrodden and despised sex. The head of the Montmorencis— And many years she lived in tears FAVORITE NOVEL WITH POLITICIANS.— Put Your- And modern conveniences. self in His Place.” ADVICE TO MATCH-MAKING MAMMAS.—First catch A “Unitarian "—one who believes in only one your heir. church service on Sunday. comicbooks.com