Life — March 1, 1883 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CYNICAL REMARKS. ABOUT LOVE, LIFE AND FRIENDSHIP, Aman's ideal of intimacy with a woman is that he shall be allowed to talk about himself, and she shall listen. A MAN who keeps telling a woman he is her friend is either in love with her, or is afraid he will be. Cynicism in youth is a deplorable anachronism— but it is an inevitable consequence of age and ex- perience. ‘To love but one woman is like dining always on one dish, To any general rule of expected conduct which one frames he soon makes exceptions of most men —and all women, Some women who are called well-preserved look rather as if they had been well-pickled. ‘THe difference between the gentleman circum- stantial and the gentleman direct is great, though not always perceived. ee es a Tue difference between regret and remorse is that regret is sorrow for opportunity neglected—but remorse is sorrow for opportunity improved. ROUGH ON STOCKINGS. One of the two things a man must have to go Passing Citizen to his fellow: “ Boors BLACKED with comfort through the world—either an abiding INSIDE.” WELL, NOW! THERE'S NO SATISFYING THESE faith in Providence or a strong sense of humor. FASHIONABLE CHAPS, IS THERE ? FORGOT THE DETAILS. Returnep and bearded traveller, rushing up to for- mer acquaintance with enthusiasm: “Why ! How are you, old man?” Short-sighted and absent minded former acquaint- ance (doubtfully) “ Eh? How do you do?” “Why man alive! Don’t you remember Bob Travers?” “Yes! Yes! Forged a check, didn’t he!” (Indignantly) : Wo!” (Reflectively) : “ No? Cut his wife’s throat, wasn’t it ?” “No Sir! !" “Dear me, of course not. He was the man who em- A GENIAL old Chief of Police, bezzled the trust funds and went off with Thompson’s 7 sate : ee es wife, wasn’t he ?”” Kor S0KE) ones arrested higinlece, (Furiously) : NO SIR!!! Zam Bob Travers. For patching his pants (Mildly) : “ You don’t say so! Well, what was it you With a quilt of her aunt's, did anyhow ?” Which, he said, made them BREECHES OF PIECE. — We often hear it asked, “ What is friendship, but a ‘THe man who “ walks off on his ear" has sometimes name?” Yes, but that is quite enough when it is want- been known to return “on his muscle.” ed for the back of a bill. comicbooks.com