Life, 1883-02-22 · page 12 of 16
Life — February 22, 1883 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Explanation for Modern Readers This page from *Life* magazine contains three satirical pieces: **Top cartoon ("Each to His Trade")**: A theatrical actor speaks to a landlord in exaggerated Shakespearean language, asking him to find a machinist to disassemble a chicken so they can eat it. The joke mocks overly dramatic actors who use pompous language for simple tasks—satirizing theatrical excess and pretension. **"Realism" poem**: Mocks sentimental love poetry by listing artificial or mercenary reasons for loving someone (fake teeth installed by dentists, financial motives like inheritance). It's satirizing both flowery romantic verse and shallow materialism. **"He Had Been There Before"**: A poker joke with Jewish characters (Oppenheimer, Levi, Rosenbaum, Einstein, Greenfeld). A host receives an excellent poker hand but refuses to bet, suspecting cheating because he's "been there before"—implying he's previously caught someone dealing marked cards. The humor relies on stereotypes about Jewish businessmen and card-game suspicion.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
— Tal yi FT th EACH TO H IS TRADE. Heavy Tragedian at railway hotel: PRITHEE, LANDLORD, DWELLS THERE WITHIN THE PRECINTS OF THIS HAMLET A MACHINIST ? Landlord: A MACHINIST ? Trag.: YES, SIR. THEN TAKE TO HIM THIS BIRD OF MANY SPRINGS. Bip HIM WRENCH ASUNDER THESE IRON LIMBS, AND THEN, FOR OUR REGALEMENT, TO CHISEL SLICES FROM ITS UNYIELDING BOSOM, FOR WE WOULD DINE ANON.— AND, PRAY YOU, DOIT QUICKLY. YON PEASE YOU NEED NOT CARRY; FOR THOSE, WITH DEXT’ROUS MANAGEMENT, WE CAN SWALLOW WHOLE. Away! REALISM. J LOVE my love not for her flaxen hair, Or for the flaxing that her brother gave me, I do not woo her Roman nose, I swear; "Tis not eyes that do so much enslave me. The charm’s not in her duplicated chin ; I could not press her flexor digitalis ; Her teeth are white—a dentist put them in. I mention this, believe me, not in malice. Why do I love my love so tenderly, Why do I try to put my arms around her? Why do I sigh, ‘‘alas!” and then, ‘‘ ah me!” And say my life a desert was until I found her ? L’Envot. I'll tell you, reader, in the fewest words, I love my love just for her widow's thirds. c. H. B. Neat thing in bonnets.—The face of a handsome girl. SoMETHING that requires more philosophy than tak- ing things as they come.—Parting with them as they go. HE HAD BEEN THERE BEFORE. Me Oppenheimer, Mr. Levi, Mr. Rosenbaum, Mr. Einstein and Mr. Greenfeld, all prominent Italian gentlemen, are enjoying a sociable game of draw- poker after dinner. Mr. Oppenheimer, who is host, returns to the room after a brief absence, and finds a hand has been dealt him. He picks it up. It is a king-full. He skins it over very carefully. It is a king-full still. He glances inquiringly at his guests : “Who doled tem carts ?” Mr. Greenfeld replies : “Chakey Einstein.” Mr. Oppenheimer gives the king-full another care- ful going-over. It looks very large—certainly. None of the kings have got away. But he sorrowfully lays it down without betting. “T pess.” Mr. Rosenbaum deals, and the game proceeds. Tue proper thing at a temperance ball.—Pumps. comicbooks.com