Judge — June 22, 1929 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

COP? ee 4 JUDGE SUDGIWG + GHOWS nN Madison Square Garden there was recently I concluded another of those metropolitan tourna- ments in imbecility known as a dance marathon, in which some thirty couples recruited from the rail- road junctions and ashheaps of New Jersey and Pennsylvania and urged on by a purse of money danced one another into hogsheads of perspiration and physical collapse with all the oafish assiduity of a Socialist running for President. One by one, as the days and weeks chased by, the couples, frothing at the mouth, went under and had to be carried off the floor on stretchers, to the loud applause of the followers of Christ sitting in the arena, until finally the last remaining duo was declared the victor and given the prize, which would pay for perhaps half its consequent doctor bills. As there was nothing in the theatre that seemed to call for my professorial attention during the final weeks of the Madison Square foot-fight, I hied me to the scene and surveyed the show. To call it a dance marathon was like calling what you get in Hoboken beer. Of all the jazzers on the floor only one couple made any effort to enter into what is commonly regarded as dancing; the rest devoted most of their time to physical antics that, however debilitating, could be termed dancing only by some- one unfamiliar with the English language. The couple alluded to—the program identified them as Jimmy Priore and Jeanne King, of Garfield, New Jersey,—were excellent hoofers that bear investiga- tion by one of our music show impresarios. But their rivals were a sad lot, poor, bedraggled boys and girls from back of hinterland glue-works and gas- houses whose dead legs and dead feet sought vainly to muster up a vague semblance of Jimmy's and Jeanne’s equally weary but none the less brave grace. Among the folks who dropped out early in the )), eae contest were a couple billed as Mr. and Mrs. Meyers. Papa Meyers was a bow-legged little man of about thirty-eight summers; Mama. Meyers a two-hundred pounder of perhaps the same age who draped her- self upon Papa like a ton of lead. For almost a week the Meyers family kept heroically at it, drip- ping like a couple of bedeviled ice-wagons and offer- ing each other audible words of encouragement and cheer. But the fiesh proved weaker than the spirit and soon the Meyers legs were beheld wobbling and the Meyers eyes popping and the Meyers mutual encouragement and cheer fading. They had to be carried off by a derrick. The dance marathon, however, was not the only divertissement offered for the price of one ticket. By way of tickling the Neronic customers, there was also a rocking-chair contest to determine what jack- ass could rock longest and so go down into history as the rocking-chair champion of the world. The champions, up to the time of the recent great con- test, were, it was announced, Mr. and Mrs. Meyers, of Russia. (The Meyers family in its various branches is apparently the biggest damphool family in existence.) The Russian Meyers were also en- tered in this contest and retained their proud title. But they were not the only world champions to hold onto their cherished and enviable glory. There was also “Shipwreck” Kelly. Mr. Kelly, we were peri- odically apprised by the announcer, was the world’s champion flagpole stander. It is Mr. Kelly’s boast that he can stand on top of a flagpole longer than any other white man on earth. His records, I for- get; I was eating peanuts when they were heralded and I make so much noise eating peanuts that I can never hear what anyone is saying, however over- whelmingly important. So I don’t know whether it (Continued on page 81) Theatre “-Decistonr” (40th Street)—Miserable “Hold Everything” (Broadburst)—A tripe. that will serve to pam an evening te Here? (Atvin)—Some Sereesbly- Digest Camel Through the Needie’s “Bird in Hand” (Morcsco)—Dr. En" (Gu Tee N Theatre Guild pate Drinkwater’s most entertaining contribu a duscreditable ‘tion to the theatre. “Spring moments lighten routine sng nl ney ome peo “The Love Over* }—The i i. wasted upon a silly Hungarian - “Little Accident” (Ambamador)—One of the things that bas made an otherwise dull season gay. “Skidding” (Bayes)—Homely drivel. “Grand Street Follies” (Booth)—The boys and girls are not particularly en- tertaining this year. “The Jade God” (Cort)—Terrible. “Fellow Thru” (eth Street)—The Sain ramet ts of ite kind. “Brothers” (. Street)—The film cabot, Lytell, i is . pyat dish, = Seeyinn Our (Fedhon) A cheap and beavy attempt to be naughty, nthe Pertect ro (Hopkins)—As mystery plays go, it is pretty fair. “Journey's to QMiller)—A_ war ith points to commend it, and wiminhly acted. “The Uitte Show” (Music Box)—It Fill amuse, you more than many a $125,000 cman” en Amsterdam)—Prof. continues his diverting cutting- “Courage” (Rits)—Logubrious mush. “A Might tn Venice” (Shubert)—Tom Healy injects gayety into it. | comicbooks.com