Judge — June 1, 1929 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

My Spectacles Descended from a Tortoise solemn, elderly gentle- men, wearing immaculate frock coats, sat around a mahogany table in the directors’ room of the Tortoise-shell Frame Co., Ine. On the center of the table lay a sample pair of — tortoise-shell spectacles, The directors puffed on their fifty-cent cigars, knitted their brows in deep thought and said nothing. At length the president br the t Four nse silence: tlemen, we'll put a pair of tortoise-shell frames on every nose in the country.” The said: “At ten cents profit apiece we will make $100,000 if we sell a million treasurer A million times ten cents is a million ten centses—point off two aces and what te" Astigmatism,” said the seere- Jo you § tortoise something like Inquired — the turtle president. “A tortoise is much bigger than a turtle, Bronson,” answered the president, “and, — furthermore, one tortoise will furnish us about a dozen spectacle frames where a turtle won't.” “Well, I'm very fond of mock turtle soup, fellows,” the treas- urer said. “Personally, vice- I'd like to see a (2 Cry sty JUDGE The whispering tenor is held up within calling distance of the police, breathing heavily tortoise secretary his lenses. “Oh, boy! Wouldn't a Welsh rarcbit hit the spot about now?" imed the vice-president. Ly wife has a tortoise-shell ‘ette case that used to live in flies,” p swamp and snay said the president, proud “Tha an amber holder,” Mr. Jameson, secretary. rette the said “We're not here to discuss amber, men—we're here to for mulate plans for the Tortoise- shell Frame Co., Inc.,” the secre- tary said. “TH bet a mother would be good and sore tortoise if she could sce her oldest boy at the optician’s.” “My oldest son is near-sighted and wears bone glasses,” said the asurer. “He's Harvard "1." You're a traitor, Wembl said the president, scowling. hope your son flunks out.” The vice-president rose to his feet. “Boys, I'll admit I'm soft hearted. I'm going to take my tortoise-shell the aquarium where they can swim and bask in the sun just as they t The meeting adjourned and the four solemn gentlemen put on their top coats and filed out of the directors’ room with bowed heads, —Jack Creer spectacles to “Spring is in the hair,” quipped the fun-loving flapper who had just gotten a permanent wave.” “I don't see how I'm going to get a lawn without you,” moaned the lovely lady when the gardener gave noti comicbooks.com