Judge, 1929-03-30 · page 13 of 36
Judge — March 30, 1929 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis: "Learn' Em and Weep" This satire mocks early-20th-century American education through a classroom scene where immigrant children and their parents struggle with English diction and civics concepts. **The Satire:** Professor Brightfellow teaches a mixed class where students display heavy ethnic accents (Italian, German) while reciting patriotic material—the Pledge of Allegiance and "America the Beautiful." The humor derives from the contrast between lofty American ideals and the linguistic reality of immigrant assimilation. **Key Jokes:** - A boy named Calvin reveals his father's "fine Italian hand" is literally in jail—a play on the phrase meaning artistic skill - Barbara misunderstands arithmetic ("always carry the tree") - Simon defines "Reformation" as a school for catching thieves - The final exchange about Chicago patriotism being detectable only on the Fourth of July suggests immigrants don't fully embrace American values **Context:** This reflects contemporary anxieties about immigrant assimilation and education circa 1910s-1920s. The satire gently mocks both the students' struggles and the naive assumption that patriotic recitation ensures Americanization.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Learn’ Em and Weep domornn Good mornin “said Professor Brightfellow. “’Snice to see so many britean smiling faces. “Goodmawnin tew yew Goodmawnin tew the children happily. “And lettuce yew...” sang now of the Alle This mornin, Washin: + Stand up... upon George Come, Gee “ * «© jer legunee toth fl thnintedstates off Murika an Republikan fur One nach indivsible wit Libity an whicher stance justits furall 2." “That's very good, ¢ Your diction is com on splen didly. [seem to see your father’s Italian hand...” A boy at the back of the class n jumps to his iron-clad feet fine ind snaps his “Yes, Calvin “Please, father aint helpin him wit his dixhun. Professor, his His fine eyetalian hand is in jail igain this week.” Thank vou, Calvin. You may it down. “And now, ny children, let us take rithmeties. Shall 1 call upon you, Barbara Frietehie Alexandrovitch, to tell five up our us how much — is times twenty 2?” is fife donn de fife un kerry de tree “Just a minute, B: “Pife times nort Pott rbara. ... You've nothing to carry | Nuttink kerry? Yestidy was tol me [ shall kerry tre Yes. Barbara; but that was a different sum, my dear.” “No, not always. But you just talwees carry de tre pay attention to me and I'll tell you when not to... . There, that’s enough arithmetic for teday. Now, let's out our Histories a thought to the Refor I think Pll call on you, Simon Feltmann, to tell the class what is meant by the Reforma- tion.” and give mation. » ‘De Reformation iss der school vere iss put de feller vot iss ketch stealink or ennytink.” Simon... outdoors for a reation let America the see your point, nd now before we go well-earned rec “Yes, girls, they ne us rise and sing Beautiful... short curtains for sho “O muricker O muricker Fer briten shinin stars, © muricker O muricker . . Gronce Meroe. The only tell when it’s the Fourth of July in Chicago is by looking : dar. Way you can a-ecalen “What made you so exhilarated last night =" Rushing thru the ether.” “No, drinking beer.” ‘comicbooks.com