Judge — March 23, 1929 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ur ud or sit - ou JUDGE there is only one right way, Don't tell me what it says in the man- ual; [owas a boy scout before And an- < to be less back-talk in this troop or onc of you little palookas is all your front teeth out like y Barry. they wrote the manual other thing, there's going to Anybody can fall out ef a ham- mock up without even breaki mut it takes real science to do it) right. Prac tically every bone in my body, and certainly every one in my head, has been fractured, but it has all heen done scientifically. ‘The first step is to tie the hammock be- tween two trees, using a good brand of frayed rope. Now climb into the ham kK oand lie face downward, first having loaded your pockets with small lead Weights, which you can procure ata few cents’ cost anywhere, As soon as you feel the hammock giv € 4 13% lecting evidence to prov which they throw into African ing way, just bob up and down. broken glass and nails under the ham mock. I myself generally dig a Some ‘experts sprinkle wucGqui() “Hey! Give us a hand, will yuh? Or we'll never get this thing all in the crate.” alue of weight reducing pills, water-hole, pit and fill it with barbed wire and poreupines, After you yourself have be- come experienced, you will natu- rally want to train your relatives. All of mine have undergone the although e all hes- hammock, without success, as they ha lived through it. If the itant or timorous, a soft cloth soaked with chloroform and sneaked into their mouth will turn the trick. After they are com- fortably asleep in the hammock, build a good hot fire underneath ordeal by and saw away the ropes. ‘Their consternation will be amusing and instructive at the same time. One bright boy of my acquaintance even sold tickets to his friends and made ja day out of the occasion, He, however, varied the routine hy putting a live bear in the pit beneath the hammock and smearing his aunt with honey. In conclusion, we are offering our subscribers the usual holiday rate: ten a two-year subseription for pilars. nd us the relatives you want taken care of and we will send you actual photographs of your aunt wrestling with the bears or dead porcupines. If you have en »ved this program, drop a post-card in care of the station to which you have been listening and T will send you any one of my aunts or uncles stuffed with Brazil nuts and ready to fry. A handsome, useful) and enduring gift for old and young; take ad- vantage of this unusual offer. comicbooks.com