Judge — March 2, 1929 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Youne Titxc—I've brought this book back. Mother says it isn’t fit for me to read. Booxseiten—I think your mother must be mistaken. “Oh, no, she isn’t! High Hat (Continued from page 15) I opened some of my mail, too. There was one letter from a snooty Fifth Avenue shop which wanted to know if the flannel pants I purchased for Palm Beach were adequate. 1 didn't bother to write an answer—I telegraphed—dire the pre dent of the store. ants ok: I wired. I love to do things simply. Betty Smith writes in and complains about not receiving a vanity case she won in a contest conducted by HIGH HAT two ars ago. Betty's nose must be awfully shiny by now. As a mat- ter of fact, I recall the ident quite clearly. I intended deliver- ing the vanity case in person. I left the office with the vanity case tucked in a waistcoat pocket. I've forgotten at the moment which waistcoat pocket it was. It couldn't hd n the upper left one, because I carry a cigarette case ther And it couldn't have been the upper right pocket. be- cause I carry a green pen an’ pencil set there. And it couldn't have been the lower left. pocket because I've always life-savers and gum drops there. And I know full well that the vanity case could not have been in the lower right pocket because the only time I ever use that pocket is when I want to relax and rest. I put my thumb in it. Anyway—later that day—I met Bobbé Arnst. We piled into © b ve read it all through.” Evenyuopy’s Wrekiy Wire. (learning golf)—Did -p your eye on that ball, my Hispano rattle went for a drive up the Hudson Bobbé said something to me and I into a Fifth Avenue the mirror in So, being a gentleman, I gave her the vanity case which rightfully belonged to Betty Smith. If Betty Smith sees this, I want her to know my conscience bothers me, what-ho, and some day soon I'll conduct another contest and give her another chance. Tomato, my just th anese valet, ad reminds me I promised to play two- d bridge with him this eve- Before I let up, however, I want to say that the most hilari- ous moments I've had in- the theatre in a long time were the all too few Betty Starbuck and Billy Taylor gave me in “Hello, Daddy.” Here are two clever kids who have Judge Junior at fect. Their “In a Big at * number is Ia ory best! Chee and no end to them! Jupoe, Jn “Do you know Lord Heath- moor? I've often shot at his country seat.” “And did you ever hit it?” —Bysranpen A landlord wrote to his tenant: “Dear Sir—I regret to. inform you that my rent is much overdue. Will you please forward me a cheque?” Back ame the reply: “Dear 0 reason why I should pay your rent. I can't pay my own.” " —Tir Bits Jeweler’s daughter thinking it over before accepting a proposal. —Loxvon Opinion comicbooks.com EDWARD LANGER PRINTING CO., INC, JAMAICA, . T.