Judge — March 2, 1929 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Prisoner For You a Rose 1s ineredible that a per- in Troy, N. (the teway to the Adirondacks . . . Oh, yes—and collars) can. wire a bunch of roses to a friend in New York City (the gateway to the Bronx... and shirts). In fact, it strikes me as miraculous that if the recipient is not satis- fied with the flowers she can wire them right smack back to you, leaving a trail of faded rose pet- ils en route, so that when you receive them they're mere stems and thorns. I don't know how it is down there, but up here, in carly spring, our Western Union boys’ hands are a sight from de- livering potted ferns. More than once I've received the little yellow card, bidding me call at Western Union for a tele- gram, only to be handed a bunch of dried-up bluebells on arriving. If they'd only keep their unde- livered te would be some help. Once I ns in water it wired a dozen carna- tions to Miss Conger, he- cause she didn’t think a dozen was enough, she asked them to please repeat the message, Well, take a deaf person at the end of JUDGE Warden, I just wanted to show yu what can the line, repeati and get Western Union of orchids a couple of times and it runs into money. eA corsag It's a come-on It With Flowers. I wired Stan to meet me Grand Central at 12.15 the other day. At 12.15 he wasn't there, days later ve, this Say Several vt a letter from him rg inks, old man, for potted heliotrope. What's the I couldn't explain it very well, I raised hell about it at the Western Union office, but they told me, frankly, that potted plants had the right of way over night letters. Sometimes message xet crossed on the wires. For instance, mother got a funny night letter from Aunt Fan from Geneva, N. Y., two weeks Aunt Fan, so she Left my lowers, upper left-hand bureau drawer; had marvelous time love, Fan, Imagine mother’s. surprise. when the Western Union boy cycled up to the front door with a° bouquet of Dutchman's Breeches—a very pretty wild flower, but havin hearing whatsoever on Aunt Fan's “lowers,” as she calls — therm, Mother wired back for an ex- planation and next day she re claims, he done w ta spoon! Wouldn't that make you boil! It's causing all kinds of trouble Take my in business circles, too. friend, E. Mortimer Shepherd, the sh and blind man from the (fooled you!) East. It's noth ing for “Shep” to order a car Well, the other day he needed just the of shutter: wired his shutter works: “Ship one carload shutters, Shepherd.” He got an immediate reply, all right—and load of shutters, yne care so he don’t think he didn’t! It read: “Thanks for the lovely violets. kisses—your own superintendent, O'Roarke.” A’ thing like that can cause all kinds of business failures, do you know i Ta a Western Union office on a hot, blustering August and the golden rod and black-eyed Susans are simply fierce. I have to write or telephone on account I get hay fever every time I go near the place. And you wonder why all the teleg to w aph linesmen are beginni It's wire- tapping. I tell you... . Down- right, dirty wire-tapping! art boutonnicres? —Jaex Cieerr comicbooks.com |