Judge — December 29, 1928 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE Those Charming People The Latest Report on the Weinbloom Reptile Expedition iaiutTeEN months + ago, when Lieut. Buster Wein- bloom left with his expedition into the lower ramp of Grand Central to add fresh reptiles to his collection, many wiseacres dubbed his project “ramp foolishness.” resh reptiles in- deed!" said they, “as if the reptiles he has now aren't fresh enough! We dub his project ramp foolishness. But this criticism only succeeded in irritating Lieut. Weinbloom and he smeared with honey and tied to thc same tree, but still without results Lieut. Weinbloom’s entry in his log for that day reads: “Gave the pythons lots of good Leeds but without effect. Perhaps we are wrong in using traps and snares? Will try muted woodwinds, tympani, and oboes to- morrow But the oboes did not do the work either, for it is that oboes never do work. That, kiddies, is why they are notorious \; ; | soon began to chafe under restraint. 4 oboe: The chafing had been barely finished | Leaving the pythons to their own and the saltines spread with butter | j devices, Lieut. Weinbloom now de- when the Dean appeared with the col- lege whip to flay the offenders. Lieut. Weinbloom was overcome with imp: tience. “You people make me tired he said; “if you must vex somebody, why don’t you go home and vex the floors?” The Dean went home but, as cided that the expedition must cross cau. Maps were consulted but no plateaux could be found. After some discussion an advertisement was in- serted in the Times and the follow- morning found owners of several od second-hand plateaux on hand. there were no floors in his house, he Cobra Pere The best one was selected and the had to close the act with a blackout necking “Nadia party then put on its swaddling and three bends. of the smaller reptiles. clothes, in preparation for swaddling The expedition met with small suc- the plateau. In a very short time the cess at first. Three months after they had shuttled plateau was completely swaddled, and tired but over the upper headwaters of the Leblang, they eap- happy, we pitched camp outside the city walls. tured a small orange drink stand which had gotten Camp had been unruly vhow and some of us felt separated from its mother. The small but fierce that he should have been tied to the tree and smeared prisoner attempted to gore Lieut. Weinbloom, and with honey along with Leeds. Maybe some of when it failed offered to take him into business on you feel the same way about Cobra Perelman. a fifty-fifty basis. But the lieutenant was wary. (Continued on page 27) To quote his own words: “No. I am wary, | am wary wary.” His men then took up the refrain: “He is wary, we are wary All of us are wary wary; None of us have’ beri-beri, But we all are wary wary.” | At the end of the first half the orchestra pl | the theme song, “Snakes No Difference to M after signing the customary contracts with Hearst, the expedition struck camp and mushed on. Only one member of the party had to be left behind, k colored beater named Cobra Perelman, who had mumbled something about “Hearst by his | own petard.” His bruises were so nut that Dr. Dietrick, the me adviser, orc him buried up to his neck in rice pud- dings and set fire to. iS days later pythons were sighted, and the python traps were rous his was done. baited. To lure the tricky reptiles ™ ws. * "ts | to the snares, a man named Leeds was Two striped adders captured near Harlem red with honey. Casino. But the cautious pythons refused to “Isn't it fun to be photographed?” one of them bite. Another man named Leeds was is asping the other. comicbooks.com