Judge — December 22, 1928 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Why Pullman Porters Are Called George By Gurney “Engincer” Williams Props by George “Fireman” Lichtenstein This is the unreteuched account of the origin and growth of the name applied to Pull- man porters, and if you want to listen to the story you'll have to zet someone to read it to you cause you know as well as I do that you can't hear anything if you read it to yourself. All right. ores Many years ago a man named Herman Schnellzenheimer (never mind) and his small daughter Irma were riding across the country on the transcontinental limited, and I'l bet you don't know what motive was taking them to New York. Well, sir, it was a locomotive, and after you get over that I'll explain to you that Herman was the man who first thought of renting hassocks to train patrons for long journeys. JUDGE He charged 5, 10 and 15 cents for them according to size, and ex- press trains came to be known as 5, 10, 15's. The ten-cent size wasn't popular and was with- drawn from circulation; so these trains were called 5:15’s, and that’s all I have to say about that or you'll think I'm giving you the runaround about this George business. Weill, this Mr. Schnellzen— this guy and hiy daughter were coming across country — and Herman was having an awful time keeping Irma amused. “Irma,” he ‘would sz y every time a westbound train would flash by them, “look; there's a train going the other way,” and Irma would look at it wide-eyed and then say in that innocent lisping way of hers, “Yes, daddy. East is east and west is west, but never the twains shall meet head-on.” (That is worth five bucks in any Booby Sayings of Dumb Kids de- partment, but I'll throw it’ in here, because it fits nicely.) Heigh ho, where are we? Well, by the time they got to Pittsburgh there were only six @ Handshake, Loyal Order of Pullman Porters. passengers, the conductor, and the engine crew left—just nine people. It had been a long, tire- some journey and the ¢ and fireman’ were pretty bored and all, so the fireman told the engineer a funny joke andthe engineer laughed so hard he got a stitch in his side and had to stop the train for a minute. Well, sir, just before he opened the throttle again he looked ahead and saw that the bridge was out! And they tell me that that is the origin of the famous adage that a stitch in time saves nine, but that’s so far-fetched you'll prob- ably have to read it all over again, although I warn you in advance that it isn't worth the trouble. Anyhow, four of the passengers got out and looked over the situ tion and one of them said, “ got a pack of a little brid; cards; let's get up Well, they did, and one guy got all the honors in hearts and six little ones, and bid three, which is good bridge, as you know; but the engineer looked it over and said no, he wouldn't move the train an inch until the regular bridge was fixed, so those poor guys had to sit there an hour and play until two of them had won four rubbers with which they waded across the-river to summon So finally wrecking crew bunch of the ged up on a handear, and the foreman’s name was George. And this Herman I spoke of twenty minutes ago, my time, was so glad to sce the foreman that he stepped up, held out his hand and said, “Porter there, corge,” and the men shook hands. And that’s why Pullman por- ters are called George, and if you can see ¢ ion, whatever, you should send for the veterinary and cut out white bread. 6 comicbooks.com