Judge — December 22, 1928 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE Editor, Jack Shuttleworth Art Editor, Pt Rees, Do a Scrooge nN the assumption that during the Christmas O season all intelligent persons are somewhat cock-eyed, all serious remarks sure to be hooted down in the hubbub of merrymaking, and all sober thought inhibited by an instinctive knowledge that nothing matters except gencrosity, good cheer and tom-foolery—on this fairly safe assumption the wise editor is supposed to rest briefly from his mighty labors of informing, guiding and e'en preserving humanity. He is supposed to stick a sprig of mistle- toe in his hat, a flask in his hip-pocket, and a note on the sanctum door reading, “Gone to lunch. Back after January first.” The trouble is that it ain't so. If you are a prompt reader, page the week before Christmas. If you are wise in the ways of printing, you are ¢ that it had to be written about the first of December. And moreover, that next weck while the carols are actually ringi the candles twinkling and the corks popping, editorial servants will have to be moiling at w matters for mid-winter publi Not to be too self-conscious about the trade we ply, we cite these drab facts merely to illustrate the thesis that our machine civilization is taking genuine im- pulsiveness out of life. We moderns are cursed with anticipativeness. Where there has to be too much forethought, joy languishes. Nobody any more seems to do anything on the spur of a crazy moment. ‘The do - your - shopping - early - wrap - securely - address- plainly-mail-early stuff puts a crimp in Christmas. What kind of a gift is it that is bought in Sep- tember, tied up and covered with Christmas seals and tucked away in the bureau dra We are told that in 1 ment store day of the y y after Thanks- giving—so meek have the holiday shoppers becom When on a broiling beach last summer a fair Is boasted to us that her Christmas cards were all addressed and stamped, our false tongue praised her prudence but our heart pitied her for her prosiness. What merriment must reign in that house whe husband and wife decided some weeks ago to be sen- sible this year and give each other a nice washing machine, and then, for extra measure of good sense, had it installed at once! Nor can we grant much except an unimaginative generosity to those who make presents of money— ‘ou are perusing this ion. biggest depart- Associate Editor, Richard J, Walsh 13 Dramatic Editor, George Jean Nathan the most useful and the most graceless of all gifts. Not to be opened until Christmas? .Of course not! No package ought to be delivered until Christmas Eve at the earliest. No shopping ought to be done by anybody until, say, after a good lunch and a couple of drinks on the afternoon of December 24th. Of course, Mister Wiscacre and Madame Bigwig, we know that this is quite impossible in a world of shops and subways, railroads and express companies, clevators, traffic’ cops, counting-rooms, time-clocks and C. O. D.’s. The last-minute shopper is a fool. vay with the creature of impulse, for he encumbers Down with Spontancity, Caprice and Hooray for Common Sense Vagary. And yet, let us implore you, save your soul and cherish the spirit of Christmas by just this much— do this Christmas one deed, one little deed, that you hadn't planned; buy one single precious item of your shopping late, very, very late; give one gift you can't ord, some perfectly useless, wild and beautiful object; go somewhere quite unexpectedly; do some- thing nobody ever saw you do before; send a tradition crashing to the ground; if it is your wont to be wicked, be good for a bit; if you are normally good, be wicked briefly; bust loose; shock the natives; go whimsical for a day or an hour; do a Scrooge! And so, stout masters and sweet maids, may ye have, if ye will, a Merry Merry Christmas, Elder Generation Notes No. 3 AUTHENTY-VEAR-O1D boy was brought into a New York court by his mother, who complained that he was “the laziest boy in the world.” For a time after graduating from school he earned eleven dollars ve her ten of them. But he got fired or walked out of one job after another. What was the trouble? “Philip is a good boy; he doesn’t drink, smoke or Z around on street corners,” said his mother. “It isn’t that he is stupid. He's not, but he just says, ‘The people who work never smile, so why should I, mamma?’ The judge threatened to give him six months in jail unless he got a job and kept it. Well, that is the just and proper attitude, con- sidering how the world is. You couldn't expect a hard-pressed widow to support a grown son in happy sloth. And yet—Philip certainly scored a point nst our adult generation when he said, lightly, The people who work never smile.” —R.ILW. comicbooks.com