Judge — December 15, 1928 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Shaving in Six Languages “If you ain't gonna shave this morning either, said Mommer to Popper, for the third consecutive morning, at the breakfast table, “what do you think T gave you that bowl of hot water for? It was hard getting hot water now, too, because the plumber forgot to come and fix the boiler.” “Oh, was that hot water for shaving? answered Popper, wiping the grapefruit per- spiration from his face, “well, I thought it was coffee and drank it. Anyhow, haven't you heard Iam giving up shaving? I haven't got the time or vocabulary for it. Iam a busy business man besides, and while, by growing whiskers, I take a chance on not having my friends recognize me, although with creditors sometimes it is better that y, still with shaving they would never recognize me, neither, under the court- plaster. Additionally, if people saw me coming out of this house after shaving with my razor they would think it was a hospital, and they'd all be driving up here after accidents on the street, of which there are plenty.” “Better to have them think that,” retorted Mommer, turning over the toast to burn it on both sides, “than to have them think it was the House of David or something. Besides, w the matter with your razor? It opened the of condensed milk all right the other da Tam sure your whiskers wasn’t tougher than the tin “That is what is the matter with then,” fumed Popper, scraping the burned toast, “and after all the can-openers you got for wedding presents, I read in the advertisement which said every day you give your razor something differ- ent to do, but it wasn’t included opening cans and sharpening lead pencils. No wonder the last time I shaved I never knew I could swear in so many languages. This wasn’t a safety razor I got, but I'm telling you it wouldn't be safe for anybody to let me find them using it n, and that goes for your brother, too.” Tut, tut,” said Mommer, “don’t get excited; I wouldn't do it nin, because anyhow I found the can-opencr.” “When you say tut, tut,” answered Popper, putting on his derby to keep his ears warm, “y remind me the train may be coming any time now, and I should listen for the whistle, so I wouldn't miss it. You know, out in this burg, when you miss the train it becomes a holiday; you gotta take the day off, and I couldn't afford it now since I’m in business for myself. But, anyhow, I’m going to get a safety razor and shave with it, hereafter.” Good,” said Mommer, “you wouldn't forget it? Why not tie a string on your finger to re- members ‘. answered Popper, pulling out his watch and winding it and setting it by guesswork, * wouldn't need a reminder. When I think what is it I want to remember, I always assume that thinking pose and put my hand on my chin and that will remind me I want to buy a new razor. Well, there’s my train. Goodbye, Momme “Goodbye, Popper,” said Mommer, turning off the radio. —R. C. O'Briex Liqueur Essence Extraordinaire BRINGS Good Fellows Together / \N ! i / . FLAVORED ‘BY FRANCE FAVORED BY ALL . = dis NY end h ‘sufficient to $1.00 pee 1400 Prerce Bidg.., St. Louts, Missours fer the fettowing Ravers, comicbooks.com