Judge, 1928-11-24 · page 19 of 36
Judge — November 24, 1928 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains a humorous short story titled "Uncle Arthur" by Arthur L. Lipmann, illustrated by C. E. Underwood. The narrative follows two characters—Frank and Jack—whose adventures involve "Moving Picture Boys" and encounters with a chief (in what appears to be a colonial adventure scenario). The main satire targets the social role of unmarried uncles in early 20th-century America. The text humorously describes how "Uncle" Arthur has become an unpaid entertainer for sixty-six nieces and seventy-one nephews, obligated to provide candy, toys, marbles, and animal imitations. The joke's punchline suggests his only escape from financial bankruptcy is to marry a woman named Helen, transforming her into "Aunt Helen" to distribute expenses among the extended family. The satire gently mocks both the exploitative expectations placed on bachelor relatives and the desperation such social obligations create. This reflects broader early-20th-century anxieties about family duty and bachelor life.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE Husnaxn—A. the kitchen stov the pot.” And he held up a royal straight flush. The chief emitted a ery of rage which quickly changed to a pleased delight. “Oh, boy.” he laughed, “two turkeys! We'll use you for a nice nourishing soup, Tad. Hey, Charlie, go over to that tree and shake that Thing.” He picked up a cutlass and started toward the k, who held up his hand. me introduce two young friends, chief,” he interrupted, and summoned three figures from out of the thicket. he Moving Picture Boys!" cried the chagrined chief “At your service,” bowed Frank and . “and may we present Lieut. Dietrick of the U. S. Marines?” The latter saluted. jentlemen, my men have landed and the situation is well and,” he bellowed “A preview at Sid Grauman’s Chinese in L. Here I throw a quiet little dinner for some of my bachelor friends nd next you'll be dragging in +k Gilbert and Aileen Pringle and Carl van Vechten!” “Well, chief,” said Frank and Jack two hours later, as the former passed his plate for an- ‘ays complaining! other helping of Mr. 1 unfortunately seems to have ncludes today’s chapter. week we will be with you 3 MOVING PICTURE S AMONG THE Frank and Jack's Married Life” “Uncle” Arthur bachelor gone off and I have heard soon companions (11 ) mouth the into lives of com- ar of their connubial they would s: , old friend—he’s a whirring of wings and stork flew over many trees, depositing delectable little morsels soon grew into clamor- obstreperous, youngsters to whom I, being “just If the flood hadn’t come and put out the fire in how the heck could you sit on that chimney? matically heeame “Uncle” Arthur. As “Uncle” Arthur I must com- bine the best features of Claus, The Bedtime Stor Tony rg’s Marionettes, Grimm’s les and Bar- num’s Side Show. “Uncle” Ar- thur is regarde source of as an unfailing nuts, — popcorn, candy, chewing gum, balloons, funny pictures and marbles. I must render imitations of pussies, doggies, cows and horsies. The crease in my trousers is as per- manent as a ercam puff. When rs that at the moment I am “uncle” to sixty-six doll- loving nieces and seventy-one romping, hair-mussing nephews, the sympathy of the — gentle reader will immediately — flow towards me. Bachelor “uncles” are easy prey. But not so much is ex- pected of married “uncles.” A careful calculation of my expen- ditures last Christmas leads me to believe that the only way “Uncle” Arthur can avoid imme- diate bankruptcy is to forthwith provide his devoted “nephews” and “nieces” with a certain ador- able, witty, cultivated, 1 ful girl who will be known to them as “Aunt” Helen. —Artuvr L. Lirpaann one consic ————___