Judge — October 20, 1928 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Meticulous Gentleman Inserts an Advertisement To whom it may concern: My wife, Lulu, having left my bed and board, I shall not be re- sponsible for any debts con- tracted by her. The usual pro- cedure in a case of this kind is to insert an advertisement con- sisting of the above sentence and let it go at that. But, in justice to myself and to my departed half also, I feel that a few ad- ditional words of explanation must be added, if for no other reason than to correct false im- pressions which are apt to obtain amongst our many friends and creditors. This thing was coming on for a long time. To those who know us, this is not news, but then this isn’t news either; it’s an advertisement—and__ it’s setting me back a pretty penny too. But I can afford it now that she has left me. Money wasn’t every- thing however. There were other things upon which we could not agree. The radio for instance. That was a bone of contention. In the matter of programs, she wanted what she wanted and I wanted what we didn’t get. We quarreled about the children too, and it’s the little things that count. She wanted our oldest boy The cop who —— himself fully. to train to be an aviator and I wanted him to be just the oppo- site, whatever that is. Of course we never had any children, but even that didn't prevent the arguments. And I'm telling the cockeyed world, at a dollar a line too, be- cause these ads come high, that “Have mercy, Elaine — think of our Fifi!" she was hard to get along with. What a woman! ‘The only thing I could ever do to please her was to cut myself shaving. She ways got a laugh out of that. For the first seven years of our mar- ried life, she couldn't leave my bed and board because we were living with her parents and her old man was responsible for it, and he n't so nice about it either. After a while, however, I would stand his insults no longer and so I got a job and became independent. Work was so novel to me I went at it with a zest and succeeded in making my wife as comfortable as a woman who eats crackers in bed can be. I was so mad at her parents I never visited them in—except once every Sunday for dinner. Then one night as I was wait- ing for my supper as usual she didn’t come in. At about nine o'clock I suspected something was wrong, as this was half an hour past her usual hour, And that is all I know about the matter ex- cept that I won't pay her bills, and that goes for the old ones she contracted too. Let these facts be submitted to a candid world. Yours respect- fully, John Dodo. —R. C. O'Brien ag “So—you wouldn't get me that string of pearls — you cheap skate!” What we tabloid readers want is talking television applied to our favorite medium. comicbooks.com