Judge — October 6, 1928 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

How Janitor Hemingway Capitalized a Liability The Sixteen-pawed Galloway Terrier is really a dog for the country, where he can forage in the open for his own food. Few people can afford to keep one in town, When John Heming- way, janitor of a smart apartment on the Drive, found that one of these pets had been willed to him by an old friend, he de- termined to make the beast pay for his keep. of mind, he inaugurated this Cocktail Shaking S hole apartment. The tenants send their shakers down the r inventive vice for the dumb waiter, and Hemingway sends them back, all shaken, at ten cents a throw. The Lazy Colon There has recently been a spawn of articles infesting the public prints on the subject of the Lazy Colon and a few of my admirers have me to imprison some of my thoughts on paper. T have been shaped in the form of a small drama, Tur Lazy Coton A powerful social drama Characters: A Father Colon A Mother Colon Their Boy n besiegin Scene: A font of type in a composing room. Most of the letters are away working in the evening edition, so there is plenty of room, Father Colon: I do not know what will happen to that there son of ours, Cora, Mother Colon: In what way do you mean, Hascall? Father Colon: Why, it seems like he never wants to work. He is the laziest colon I ever saw. Mother Colon: Tut tut; he is only a boy after all. Father Colon: Boy or no boy, why does he not wise up to him- and quit hanging around with terisks down at the cigar store and shooting pool with that tough crowd of — exclamation points? Scraping of feet outside; An- dre the Lazy Colon, enters. Father Colon: There you are, you lazy raseal you. Andrew: Say, 1 just thought of a first line for a limerick. Father Colon: What is it, loafer? Andrew: “There was once an old rascal named Haseall——” Father C your flat fa nothing Andrew: St news. I have just secured a sit uation working for the Ierald- Tribune in their Sunday edition, and—— : 1 will push : in, you good-for- athlessly): And? : And IT have become aged to Nadia, a young fer ni-comma from Point Pleas: Mother Colon (embracing him): My boy, my boy. Father Colon: ‘And may all your troubles be little question- marks. Curtain. It also might be the producer was t like, ss Commas, give The Colons and the and Andrew could be a lazy young Irish colon and he could be in love with this pretty Jewish colleen semi-comma, only their folks were opposed on ac- count of the religion, —Pernecman Rr eae <—How do you like husband, Mrs, Peli- Peni your 1 can? “Oh, he seems to fill the bill” comicbooks.com