Judge, 1928-09-22 · page 13 of 36
Judge — September 22, 1928 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "High Hat": College Advice Satire This Judge magazine piece satirizes 1920s college culture through mock "advice" to incoming freshmen. The humor targets the pretentious, rebellious affectations of Jazz Age collegians. The satire mocks: - **False sophistication**: Carrying Fitzgerald or Shakespeare to appear cultured while learning nothing - **Prohibition-era excess**: Flaunting gin bottles and large flasks as status symbols - **Manufactured rebellion**: Smoking constantly, disparaging respectability (Mother Love, Calvin Coolidge, "all other colleges") - **School-specific stereotypes**: Princeton students fighting, Yale students staggering drunk and needing fraternity rescue - **Shallow modernism**: Praising H.L. Mencken, Freud, and Jazz Age figures while sneering at traditional values The accompanying cartoons depict disheveled, unrefined young men—the opposite of the sophistication they're attempting. The piece criticizes how college freshmen adopted cynicism, hedonism, and affected intellectualism as markers of belonging, rather than genuine learning or character development.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AMG! What Every Young College { Man Should Know { Being an old, and loyal, mind you, Alumnus, I feel it my bound- | en duty to tell) the expectant collegian the true facts about life 4 in our greater (this does not in- | clude Williams, Hobart or Rut- ] gers) Universities. My message, | if any, is intended for those of you young men and true who are leaving happy firesides for the fall | semester at your favorite hall of learning, and I : sincerely hope that, even if this information leaves | you disillusioned and heartbroken, you will realize that this hurts me more than it does you, and take it the right spirit. 1, There is no Santa Claus. 2. The stork docs not | bring babies. (See Have | lock Ellis or your near est family physician.) If you expect to | learn anything at college, f give up the whole idea immediately. It is far | | better to break this news } - to you now than to let j you enter school with } closed eves. +. Learn your college | sor y heart, and the j minute you ht from | your train begin singing them in a loud voice. This 1 will show that you have the right college spirit. | 5. A signed check-book is all the literature you ; will need to take with you, but if you wish to make a showing cq ] rry the following under your arm. A j volume of Percy Marks or Scott Fitzgerald. (One | of Shakespeare's if going to Humor and the American Mer- | cury. Substitute the Dial for the i latter if going to Harvard. Sub- 4 stitute the Police Gazette if at- tending Princeton. 0a 6. Special Note for Princeton Students.—Upon alighting from your train, immediately pick a | fight with some of the bystand- | ers. This will show how tough | 3 you are and will insure you a place on the Freshman football team, | 7. Special Note for Yale Stu- dents.—Stagger up the street upon arriving, and you will im / ’ . —— 7 mediately be grabbed by good fraternity. (That is, if you k wealthy.) 8. Be sure and have a bottle of gin sticking out of one pocket and a copy of “Here's How” (1929 Edition soon on sale at one dollar the copy) sticking out of the ¢ fs The gin must’ be Gordon.) 9. Under no ciret ters or headgear of any kind, and your shoes should some nstnces should you wear gar- never be shined. Do not have suit pressed at least two months before leaving for college. 10. Smoke continually, lighting one cigarette from the other, and, if possible, borrow all: your smokes. This will place at you at once in the inner circle. If going to Harvard smoke a pipe; if Yale, Corona coronas. 11. Have an arm-band with your college letter on it, also a pennant and a necktie made of your col- colors, Never carry a flask that holds less than a quart or you will | 13. Decorate your room with “No Smoki “Exit” and “Keep off the Grass” signs, also John Held pic- tures. If attending Yale, set up a miniature bar at one end of your room. 1+. When in crowds, remark in a loud voice what a dog you are with the women, and how you always spend your week-ends in New York.” . 15. Sneer at the following things: Mother Love Sanctity of the Home, Purity of Our Women, Fun mentalism, Judge Jr. Geo Washington, gar Guest, H old Bell) Wright, the Movies, Radio, Law and Order, Calvin Coolidge, and all other colleges. 16. Praise loudly the follow- ing: H. L. Mencken, Havelock Ellis, James Joyce, Freud, Com- panionate } Behavior- ism, Harlem, > Gershwin, and Anatole ostracized rance, Doty 4 comicbooks.com |