Judge — September 1, 1928 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| | JUDGE DOING ENGLAND ON NINETY CENTS An ingenious bit of Subtlety which enabled Two College Boys to “get in with” the Best Families in London By Dr. Seuss One evening last spring two well-known Colum i about their well-loved train- ing ‘tabi le in th “Tod,” said Gootch, pensively spinning a dough- nut around and around on his spindle-like tongue or four years we have played t sporting team in the coll and take’ of our vib conned the one is teamwork!” “Gootch,” Tod. “Why cannot this same unselfish teamwork enable us to spend the coming wether on every »» From the strenuous nt life I believe we real secret of success... have and that mused summer in England?" Stacking their combined pennies in one column on the table before them, Gootch did some rapid mental thmetic. Nine inches of pen- nies, at ten pennies to the inch,” he said, “make ninety cents exactly. The trip is more than pos- sible.” It was decided that they should. travel incognito—as mother and daughter. Gooteh given the mother’s role because of his moustache, which made him look so much older, “Well,” said Tod a few nights later, “here are in London. Our next move is to get in with the best English families.” It was damp and cold ideal night for th laid plan. How Many poor people were caught out that night with their marrow un- protected and were severely chilled to it. Big Ben had just tolled the cheerless hour of twelve when the Hon. Cecil J. Mobrey-Weymouth, a policeman, came upon two pitiful, shivering figures huddled in the murky glow of a street lamp. They were mother and child-of-four, and their sobs brought a sadness into the tender bobby’s heart. we “Please, sir.” an sey and me... 3 well- cold it was! “Please, sir,” whimpered ‘Tod, “Mumsey and me... we is lost.” ‘Tears filled the constable’s “And who are you?” he asked, also beginning to foam-tossed Two derelict soul-ships upon sea called life,” answered “Mother” Gootch. “We are Flotsam and Jetsam, respectively. ‘ome with me, poor chucks,” said the kindly Politzei, and he led them to his town home. Using this as their hea Iquarters, Tut and Gooteh saw a great deal of England in the three long months that followed. The policeman had a half-brother who was at that time a member of the House of Lords, and it was through him that the boys, or rather “girls,” made many social contacts, being constantly entertained at steeplechases, diploma dinners and ms ny a good May Bri It was their unusual athletic prowess ‘that made the nobles seek their friendship. How they mar- veled at Tod! Here was “she,” an infant girl of four whose favorite sport was boxing! At onc especially arranged benefit performance she knocked out the Oxford heavyweight champ in one Nor could and ladies their e when Gootch, supposedly sixty-three (and a mother to boot) jumped from her foaming horse in the of a chase and raced ahead to catch the fox by hand! No wonder they were féted! Had it not been for an unfortunate break by Tod, their Cinderella ays would never have been ended. It happened short the believe round, Jords es course at a surprise party given the Duchess of Camer- shorn in honor of the little “tyke's” fifth birth himpered Tod, “Mum- day. Seated fn: the’ een ter of an admiring throng of lords and ladies, little ‘Tod was wistfully cramming himself with goodies. So fast was he cating them that in his exciteme he bit Lady Featherstone on the hand, thinking it was a ladyfinger. He was embarrassed to death, but the Duchess, who had hitherto been silent, passed it off as a good joke and playfully slapped Tod on the breaking it in two places. Tod got very mad and came back at her with a feint and a right cross to the chin, and she went down for the count of nine, causing a hearty laugh among the crowd, “What is it you like the best about England, my little lac suddenly asked the Duchess. (At that moment ‘Tod was happily munching a delicious buttered Crumpet.) I like the you English make your Strum- pets!” he bellowed ‘out. Unfortunately he was overheard, and from that moment on, the doors of British Society closed book. nose, were a comicbooks.com