Judge — August 25, 1928 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| I | it JUDGE GUSTAAV SCHLESWIGH, 3rd, “HOPS OFF” The Finnish Frigate, “ Warbler”, paving way for Uleaborg-Shanghai Subway ! “Will go through hell to get there,” says inventor ULEABORG, Fin- land, July 5.—At four o'clock this morning Gustaay Schleswigh, vocationally a digger of c Wells, but st by hobby, 1 into his curious machine “The Warbler” and set forth on his non-stop bore to Shang- hai, China, via the in- most bowels of the earth, three spectators ded his departure; being his small daugh- ter, Hedda, who chris- tened the craft with a flagon of Swedish Punch, Mr. In borg Bratte (the innish Grover Whalen”), and Major General Eivell Luuvborg, representing the War and Fisheries Department of the State. Gen- al Luuvborg left. the party carly, suffering severe lacerations of the lips incurred in an attempt to drink a toast out of the broken hottle. Otherwise the ceremony ked with impressive sim- Before taking his place at the helm of what the columnists have dubbed “dat ole dayil Warbler,” Schles xplained his mission i few well-chosen words, fy Warbler craft is built,” he “upon the principles em- by mol When still a lad I had occasion to study moles and learn their little secrets. At the age of ten I was often given to the perpetration of practical jokes upon my friends, my keen- est jest consisting of putting on false whiskers and marrying old maids. One dame that I married took it harder than the others, and every time she caught me afterwards she spanked me most severely. Hence it) was, that fearing her ungracious temper I put in much time hiding under- ground. And that is how I got acquainted with the moles. The molecular hypothesis became my Shanghai Bound Special Wire to Judge by Seuss Schle. second nature. Putting to use arned, I fashioned the Warbler in the shape of an inverted Skyrocket. The ini explosion will impart suflicient impetus to take me to the center of the earth, ‘The remaining few miles [ shall tear through rapidly enough, equipped as I am with my gimlet-bicyele attachment, cor- responding to the mole’s front teeth, or molars, as it were. “The purpose of this expedi- tion,” continued Schleswigh, of a dufold natu Primarily, I am working in the interest of the Subway Corporation of New York, who in their earnest desire ULEABORG y eo Gos DESE aTy! SHANGHAI, Ss Cross-section of world sh ing Schleswigh’s route. Also the projected Gobi Desert Shuttle. to enlarge the scope of their service to man kind have planned to institute the Uleaborg- Shanghai line. © When this system is com- pleted, Shanghai will become a veritable sub- urb of New York, com- muters coming here to Finland by rail and thence by air to Wall Street. The Gobi Des- ert Shuttle, a) further development, will pos- sibly be drilled in 1956, depending of course on whether or no the seven cent fare goes through. “My second purpose is to act the réle of ador of Good between the Chi nese and the Finns, be- tween whom there has been of late a large degree of friction. When T emerge at Wu- Fang Field, my spect will not only serv nt strain likely it will cau and will bring to revolution,” Having finished, the scientist stepped into the Warbler, and General Eivell Luuvborg lit the cular ar- as balin but most armistice an end their fuse. There was a sizzle . . flash... followed by a thunderous report. Due to some minor mis- calculation, however, instead of boring down into the earth, the Warbler shot into the air. Three hours later one of the searching parties discovered Schleswigh and his ship safely perched in the top branches of a lofty acorn tree in the environs of the near-by town of Vibojrg. “My enemies,” was the brave man’s only statement, “may per- haps consider this a step in the wrong direction. But I will fool them yet!" The Warbler was then transported by donkey cart back to its starting place, where another rousing send-off will be tendered Schleswigh when he has made the necessary changes. comicbooks.com